Birth Journeys . . . positive birth stories to encourage & inspire . . . book GIVEAWAY

Greetings all,

Talking about birth journeys is something mums share, whether you want to hear them or not, placentas are discussed with knowing nods at the supermarket check out, school gate & dinner parties.  I have written how my 4 babies came into the world here, i could not have hoped for a more positive experience & wonderful result every. single. time!!  I'm a scientist so epidurals, twins & trusting my obstetrician weren't issues, i had faith in a smooth labour, delivery & new baby experience.  So lucky, 4/4 times - i had everything going for me - young, healthy, supportive husband & the essential wide birth canal.  In my pregnancy & birth post (the mega mix) i mention how we already had 12 nieces & nephews, so we were clued in, yet stayed focused & positive . . . only issue was that each of my babies missed their due dates (even twins, happily in there at 37 weeks, kicking me with their octopus limbs) . . . i had to wait patiently to meet them. 
I wish i had a plethora of different birth journeys to read back in 1998, first hand honest experiences, not embellished or dramatised, but real & up-to-date!!  As we headed on an Army posting to the unknown of the Northern Territory last millennium, we didn't know what to expect.  My ever helpful father suggested i dig a hole, tee hee.  What we found was the most fantastic hospital & Australia's busiest obstetrician, married to a girl who grew up 8 houses down my childhood street in Sydney.  I used to visit his mother-in-law when i was staying with my parents - i loved my obstetrician, he delivered all of my babies (& offered discounts for repeat business - this was all before the baby bonus!!)  After 4 children, your obstetrician & his family are on your Christmas card list!!  With 24/ 7/ 9 morning sickness (for some of us, pregnancy is an illness) i was still relaxed & energised about the delivery being positive, even after my husband informed me our first born's head was bigger than a 2L coca cola bottle, yeeoww.  

Leonie MacDonald has compiled a diverse variety of Birth Journeys: positive birth stories to encourage & inspire in one wonderful book.  Being informed gives you amazing control & power over the delivery - like pressure to have a Caesarean or the vernix wiped off your brand new baby.  If your pregnancy & delivery wasn't 'text book' or you want a water birth/ doula/ home birth & everyone rolls their eyes, you'll find a friend in Birth Journeys.  
I believe i am the mother & person i am today, due to my wonderful birth journeys.  As my obstetrician said "we're sending you off into the world of motherhood on the right foot & giving you every chance of success."   
      

The official word:

Stop listening to horror stories. Be reassured, excited and inspired. Find out how beautiful and powerful birth can be. Discover the keys to planning your own positive birth – the best beginning to motherhood.

Birth Journeys is a collection of 29 encouraging and inspiring birth stories by real Australian women (and men). It includes a wide range of birth experiences and choices: hospital, birth centre, homebirth, unassisted birth, water birth, IVF, caesarean, VBAC and twins.

The stories are deeply personal, emotional and honest. They share the paths different individuals have taken to achieve a positive birth experience. Every story has been carefully selected and reviewed by a team of midwives, doulas and mothers to give you a book full of diverse positive, uplifting and empowering stories.

Birth Journeys also contains contributions from health care professionals, academics, birth educators and authors including Dr Sarah J Buckley (author of Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering), Dr Hannah Dahlen, Renee Adair (Australian Doula College), the Maternity Coalition, Stephanie Corkhill Hyles (25 Ways to Awaken Your Birth Power), Gabrielle Targett (author of A Labour of Love) and David Vernon (editor of Men at Birth).

However you choose to birth, your experience of birth does matter. A ‘perfect’ birth is not always possible, but every woman deserves a positive birth.

For your chance to win a copy of Birth Journeys, please follow this blog & leave a positive tip about pregnancy or birth in your comment.  Extra entries for each FB & Twitter link.  Entries close Sunday 22nd July 2012.  Order your copy here, 384 pages $29.95 or eBook $14.95.  Good luck, love Posie 

Disclaimer: i approached Leonie about promoting her book on my blog, she kindly delivered a copy to me & will provide a copy for the winner.  We mummies should support each other in kind, especially when it's something you believe so passionately about.

my pregnancy & birth stories: the mega mix

Greetings all,
I got into blogging after my 4^th baby had commenced preschool & never posted my pregnancy & birth experiences.  After reading so many birth stories in blogland + my cousin had a baby last week (my husband is so clucky, vasectomy says ‘no’) . . . i thought I’d share my story . . .

  Pregnancy: I went into each pregnancy with my eyes wide open . . . from my sister & 4 sisters-in-law . . . I knew infertility, cervical cancer, miscarriage, still birth, bleeding, PND, intramuscular stitches, shock, OCD, mastitis, premature labour, episiotomies, reflux & emergency Caesareans can happen.  I fortunately skipped every single one of these painful heartaches.  This is not a rosey glasses view – this is my real story, honest & for true!! 

I had all of my babies in Darwin, Northern Territory.  We moved there in 1998, a few weeks pregnant & headed to the Private Hospital to find an obstetrician, the amazing Dr Andrew Miller (delivered each of my babies).  My ‘uneventful’ planned pregnancies were all the same: pregnant first time we tried - which made for short lived fun-baby-making-sex . . . to vomiting 24/7 for 9 months!!  I attended ante natal classes (solo, handsome soldier away), never smoked, drank coffee or alcohol, nothing to give up. 

  Labour: Now the only medical hiccup was mine – I had a spontaneous retinal detachment in my right eye when I was 21, so at my first OB appointment we agreed that lots of pushing at delivery could pop a retina & I’d have an epidural (controlled labour, push at the end).  Each of my epidural lines were put in before I went into labour (drugs not connected until required, then self-administered pain relief, I was familiar from pharmacology) i could walk around & shower, all very affective & active.  No high speed screaming trip to hospital/ waters breaking in public for me, NOTHING exciting like you see on television.

Delivery: None of my babies wanted to come out, all induced, first labour took 3 days, at 41+ weeks.  Each baby was delivered onto my chest, eyes open but not crying, weighing average 3.3kg, even the twins!!  Baby 1 required forceps (big head) & me, one stitch (tiny vagina) ha ha!!  When you have twins, your husband is handed the first baby, I was busy delivering her sister 4 minutes later.  Twin 2 was breech & pulled out by her feet, then placed on my chest – hungry, I was handed twin 1 & instantly taught how to dual breast feed, covered in vernix & all.  Darwin Private don’t wipe off the white vernix, best baby moisturiser ever!!    

  Guests: Actually I had my visiting parents at the delivery of our twins, I figured my father had NEVER seen a baby being born & knowing I have epidurals, it would be calm.  I remember the OB saying to my father “put the newspaper down, you’re going to miss it” as Dad hid behind the Sydney Morning Herald like a screen – let’s just say, we all focussed on the babies NOT where they were coming out from!!  Best of all, my parents got to see a normal delivery & a breech, they made the 2^nd cuts of umbilical cords & each carried a baby back to the room!! 

Birth Plan: I didn’t create birth plans, I agreed with my OB & had met all of the midwives who might be there at show time.  I didn’t want whale music, poetry or candles, just healthy babies.  Hospital policy was to keep you in for 6 days after a straight forward delivery, sending you off into the real world confident & informed.  The rooms included a king bed & fridge, complimentary champagne & 6 meals a day, leather recliner & bathroom, who’d want to leave?? 

 Post Partum: I remember bumping into Dr Miller when our first baby was 7 days old, my husband & I were off to the cinema, he said “see, babies don’t stop you from doing anything” & I have absolutely lived by those words.  I had everything going for me as a new mummy, healthy babies, plenty of milk, supportive husband & tonnes of energy.  Each of my babies slept through the night, 12 hours, from when they were 3-5 weeks of age.  So on top of having 4 babies in my 20s, I didn’t suffer sleep deprivation. 

Breast feeding: Each of my babies attached to the breast perfectly, “big mouths & big boobs” one midwife said "Special K lips", from birth they slept 4 hours.  My mum always said “never make a rod for your own back” so I never fussed over them, they all fell asleep on the breast & popped into bed, no burping & no vomit, done.  I would vacuum around their cots while they slept, I could move them from cot to car seat to pram to car seat to cot without them waking to do the grocery shopping.  We lived on an air force base in the tropics, all windows open, fighter jets, barking dogs, they slept through it all.  I only used bottles to express milk & never sterilised them or used anti bacterial hand wash – we had good germs.  I breast fed all the girls for 18 months, had a month off, pregnant again.  I fed our son for 24 months .

  Situations: We were living in Sydney while pregnant with my son, I couldn’t get into any private OB (at 4 weeks!!) & they quoted $6K + appointments in fees.  Gulp.  So I rang my Darwin OB & he said if I flew up for the first trimester appointment & for delivery, he’d charge me cost.  Please don’t think we were rich & I was jetting about hospital-shopping . . . in 2003 my husband was on $35K & I was sewing a little at home with 3 daughters.  My flights, hotel, car hire & baby delivery cost $1K!!  We didn’t have much but we had health insurance.  So glad I did, my ante natal at Royal North Shore Hospital, hmmm, awful experience . . . they asked me if my husband beat me/ was the father/ wanted the baby, they wrote my age as 38 not 28, & my son was breech so they said “Caesarean” no choice.  My husband stayed in Sydney with our girls & I had our son in Darwin (I chose my OB over my husband at the birth, yes really) baby turned, easy delivery which I videotaped (in the mirror) while I was on the phone to my husband.  Multitask that one mums!!  Then I flew home with him, 4 days old, ready to meet his Daddy (bursting with pride) & join his sisters.  I have since been advised that domestic violence often commences during pregnancy, isn’t that HORRIFYING!! 

  Coming Home: Every time we brought a new baby home, we let our puppy sniff & check them out first, helped with jealousy.  My husband had his wisdom teeth out 4 days after I delivered twins, so I had to drive myself home from hospital (my father babysat him & his swollen cheeks).  With each new baby, I focussed on the toddlers, carried on like normal, avoided sibling rivalry (very easy with settled new borns) - I used to sit my toddler between the twin’s heads when they fed & read to her (malleable boobs!!)

Journey: This smooth ride has not been lost on us, we know we’re lucky & appreciate it.  They are allergy free, smart, sporty & social.  I am strict & consistent, i have to maintain order or they’ll over run me.  I look back at the time I had 4 under 4 years 8 months, BEST time of my life.  In a blink I’ll have 4 teenagers, so I savour the time I have with them now, embrace full time motherhood & our wonderful future.

  Advice: Take all advice, good, bad & ugly, preparation & knowledge is power.  No delivery is perfect, however, I delivered full intact placentas & had minimal bleeding.  I lost ALL the weight in the first fortnight (hello Hollywood) & Yoga rebuilt my strength.  I did poo when I pushed out my first baby so I would recommend ANYONE to have an enema & be empty, it feels like the baby is coming out of your bottom during labour!!  I had zero back pain in other deliveries - post bowel evacuation.  Ask for things & question medical staff if it doesn't feel right.  When my milk came in, my husband had to hold my boobs while I showered, I could not bend down with those heavy bowling balls on my chest!!  I suffered haemorrhoids, a midwife named ‘Joy’ said “honey, you have grapes of wrath down there”, good to know, pass me the Preparation H & a blow up rubber ring, no really!! 
Now my greatest thing EVER . . . stick ice packs in your knickers after delivery, REALLY, reduces swelling & makes a HUGE difference in speedy recovery.  First time I kept melting disposable ice packs, so next time, I filled up condoms with water & froze them (you don’t insert them, hell no, you lay them flat in your knickers on top of the giant maternity pads, they melt so make lots!!)  ONLY – warn any guests about your new iced penis sculpture hobby, as my darling conservative father went looking for the champagne in the room fridge & discovered them.  Oh we laughed!! 

Motherhood: Once you resign yourself to the fact you are a mother & life will never be the same again, things will really fall into place.  I’m all about your husband still being number 1 in your world, then babies, he was there first & will be there last, when your babies grow up & leave home . . . having a wonderful loving relationship with lots of communication & sex makes for a very smooth transition from couple to parents.  We waited 4 weeks after each delivery before giving sex a go again, it was fine 'down there' but 'up top' - milk EVERYWHERE so i kept a bra on & milk pads in, charming.  Fun times!!  

So that is my story, it’s a long one, lots of babies.  I often wonder if marrying my teen love, then having children young (our first born came along 5 years after we first kissed) assisted healthy pregnancy statistics & coping so well with the fast changes in our lives.  My handsome soldier & I have been through every possible major stressor – losing a parent, having a baby, having twins, having 4 babies, 5 war zones, buying properties, moving interstate 7 times, living in poverty, living apart – through it all we’ve had love, trust & laughter.  I believe I was born to be a mother, my siblings were freaking out though, I was pregnant at 23 straight out of Uni, but it was the most natural thing & thanks to Mr Love.Commitment.Marriage.Babies – there was never any doubt in my mind we’d be a success at this parenting game. 

Cheers to you parents out there, you are all remarkable, ditch the guilt – if you know better, do better, quit the frills & just get on the floor with the toys, eye ball your children, just love them & you’ll get it back tenfold.  Love Posie

social commentary Sunday . . . 'the delusion of perfection'

Greetings all,

What is perfection??  My idea is most certainly very different to yours, from one day to the next.  I'm going to see the new SJP movie I Don't Know How She Does It tomorrow, to confirm the delusion of perfection!!  Not buying into the working mother debate, rather that 'perfection' is a dangerous word & idea.  It's quite final, no room for improvement (or breathing space??)  Perfect Wedding/ Dream Home - you're setting yourselves up for failure by not planning for what-might-not-work-out.  What do you do after you've reached perfection/ balance/ goals??  I prefer 'dynamic' & setting goals with a fun path to reach them & changing my concept of the goal accordingly, as i change along the journey too. 
I am noticing many more bloggers revealing their turn at receiving negative comments, often mean, cruel & nasty.  For goodness sake, why can't people just X out of a post on a personal blog they don't agree with . . . 99.99% of us are not professionals or journalists, posting something provocative for damning feedback & reaction!!  We just post about our little take on our world. 

I think about my haters who comment "you think you're so perfect" (regular readers will know my life is far from perfect - mother with Alzheimer's, husband at war, i need carpal tunnel surgery on both hands, i can't explain why i'm terrified of clowns & monkeys, my life is no perfection parade) so . . . just for fun, i'm going to show off just how not perfect i am, for a whole week.  As a super positive & happy person, i think you'll enjoy this ride as much as i will!!  Blogging as therapy anyone?? 
I have plenty of self confidence: it's not obnoxious, i don't have a lot of 'baggage' or dwell on issues.  My husband & i laugh at our harmless failures.  I told him i was going to do this 'week of disasters' & he said "oh, you're not going to do our son's future 21st birthday photo reel of all the black eyes are you??"  No, that will have our son removed from our care!!  I can say, after raising 3 girls, i still have no idea why boys take risks, leaps, jumps, glides & slides, resulting in endless donks on their noggens, perfectly timed with school photos, special events & grandparent visits.  I ain't the perfect mother-of-a-boy, i watch with my jaw open, wondering how to react to him flying through the air!!    

 Perfection: poetry of roses??  These roses were pinched from the neighbours, ooppss!!

 This young man has had the time of his life today - athletics, bike riding & swimming!!  He's only cut his toe.  Then he sat down to play with a game he found in his sister's bedroom & said "i thought dominos were pizzas".  Really, had i raised this boy for almost 8 years & never let him loose on a game of dominos??  Worse, i can't remember, chunks of his life are a blur, as his experiences merge into his sisters'.  Just in case you're wondering, no, i haven't named or dated the new born baby photos (1999-2004) either.  I assume when i get around to it, i'll have extremely clear memories of who is who!!  Should be easy, all born at the same hospital, same obstetrician, same DPH stamped singlets, same skin colouring, same amount of hair & same pastel striped flannel blanket (+ twins on the same day!!)  Totally easy.   

Do you check out the background of people's images on their blogs??  I do.  I like tidy.  I judge messy.  Your turn, judge away, snapshot of Saturday night: boy in swim gear at 9p.m.; bed time is optional as i photograph flowers for my blog (priorities); 2 trees randomly dumped in the centre of our lounge area; underpants waiting to be put away (without asking); Makita drill battery charger on the floor (you know i like a good electrical tripping hazard): i wrapped birthday gifts this afternoon & couldn't possibly have turned around & popped the sticky tape dispenser back on top of the fridge behind me.  Lay-zee. 
Is 'perfection' holding you back from anything??  I think blogging has gotten a tiny bit too serious, let's lighten up & enjoy some imperfections, i'll go first.  Love Posie