why it's so totally Ok to love some bloggers

 Greetings all,

I was so overwhelmed by your fantastic take on yesterday's post "why it's so totally Ok to dislike some bloggers" with positive responses on what is essentially a negative topic.  You understood my point - that bloggers are a sample of society, some you are just not going to like, it doesn't mean you hate or troll them, just delete & avoid.  When you read about school children to celebrities attempting or committing suicide over comments on social media, geesh, this is serious stuff.  Hate filled vitriol from a complete stranger can literally kill someone!!  If you don't like someone's blog, it's Ok, click away.  

The craft blogging community seems to have the biggest heart.  Of course it's competitive & some blog to sell their handmade goodies, others generously share every new creation with a tutorial & list of suppliers.  My HUGE tip after a dozen years in the craft business & three years of regular blogging is to find yourself a bloggie confidant.  Take your time, test the waters & think carefully, or let it come naturally - which is how it happened to me - after many questions, email, advice, 'dates' & laughter, i just claimed Tania McCartney as my on line social media confidant before i even knew i needed one.  She's my personal sounding board.  I just emailed her to say 'i've pinched some images from your blog & am doing a post about how you are my confidant."  Now my readers know where to find my secrets, don't bother trying to crack her, she's a vault!!  You might get lucky like me & find a blogger who you love!!   

It happened naturally for a number of reasons:

we were both new to Canberra; we are mummies who adore our children, ADORE; have husbands who adore us, ADORE; actually our husbands are very similar kinds of men; we love to travel, sew, bake, exercise, picnic, shop, swoon over homewares, art, garden, read, fashion, smell flowers & photograph everything around us.  Straight up, we don't clash, we share opinions maturely & agree to disagree.  It was an easy real life friendship, we just happen to be on line as well.  

How it has continued to work so beautifully for years: 

we are in different industries (she's an award winning author) yet can talk small business (highs, wins, lows, pitfalls); we love to share travel tips past, present & future; she gives me endless advice on social media, photography & technology, i give her tips on decorating & bargain finds; we're both feisty Aquarian mother lions yet uncompetitive with each other.  She's like the best sister you could ever hope for!!  Tania's also a freaking super model, so i wear heels when we go out together - she just makes me want to be a better person in every way, including my appearance!!

 So she's the finest example of a blogger who i love.  Tania is local, on the same parenting page as me, effortlessly talented & a breath of fresh air in my life, over the past 4 years.  Hallelujah!!  She's personable, polished & present - rare qualities these days.  We might have met at a Mathilda Market as stall holders . . . yet blogging (& reading her incredibly funny book about living in China, Beijing Tai Tai) helped me get to know her early on & has kept us connected on a daily basis.  Back to her photography skills - amazing right!!  The things she is teaching me about my DSLR & iPhone are big-bucks-conference-worthy.

While i try not to polish my blog too much, keep it spontaneous & written conversationally in-the-moment . . . some stronger opinion pieces i want to throw out there . . . i'll ask for some pre-publishing feedback on first.  I'm quite funny in real life, it's hard to convey in flat 2D blog writing, so Tania stops me from falling flat on my face or bombing with a readership i really appreciate & cherish.  Gosh, she's an editor, i wonder how much i owe her??  Tania, i'll pay you in fresh eggs & smiles.

My tips to finding a crafty/ mummy/ lifestyle bloggie confidant are:

try to find someone local, who knows you (now) personally enough to be completely honest, or a pre-blogging real life friend who understands blogs, who can say "i know what you're trying to say but it doesn't read that way" to avoid you putting your foot in it or starting a topical war you had no intention of creating.  Sarcasm is a very difficult 'mood' to express on blogs, even tongue in cheek, best left alone unless upsetting people is your thing, jokes or not . . . i'm a craft blogger, so from my angle, i'm not here to piss people off or make brains explode with mind blowing intellectual concepts, just share the love of handmade creations & time well spent with family.  I'd also try to find someone with more experience (mentor territory - you are not necessarily their bloggie confidant in return, they might have someone else, they MUST be able to keep your confidence & be trust worthy, especially with intellectual property these days, or the firestorm of bitchiness) who can help guide you through social media.  

Anyone who cries when you give them fresh eggs from your precious hens is a true friend.  Ok, so i did wrap them with a tissue pom pom 'rooster comb' for extra effect.  That's the yard stick ladies.  So keep blogging positively, with a full heart & honest creativity.  Find that special someone out there who you can trust with your 'blog' & give you a big "hells no" if you suddenly want to post something crazy or that's just NOT YOU.  Or don't & be completely free, natural & expressive.  Remember i'm talking crafty, mummy, lifestyle blogs here, not satires, politics or high brow intellect.  Personally i keep religion, politics & sex out of my blog, although one blogger - Megan from Edan Rose - said at a craft retreat 'i can just tell you & your husband have sex like rabbits as you're always so happy & love him to pieces.'  See, somethings can be left unsaid & read between the lines.  Classic.  Love Posie

social commentary Sunday . . . 'where has the blog love gone??'

Greetings all,

Gosh, what has happened to blogging lately??  I've been chatting to some fellow bloggers off line & we've noticed a shift in blog happiness.  There are fewer friendly blog awards around; a decline in comments/ posts/ link ups + the reaction against people monetorising their blogs or scoring a paid gig on a forum group site - geesh, i thought the working mother debate was fierce enough - earning money off your blog is the new 'thing' to attack.

How about we turn it around??  Today!!

I don't care if you started your blog as a personal diary or business pursuit, i'll read when it interests me (& always comment) or if i disagree about something because . . . 

i don't drink alcohol, 

i am a full time mother, 

i don't like coffee, 

i loathe smokers, 

i disagree with junk food, 

i am not religious, 

i don't have depression, 

i still struggle with crochet,

i can't afford to flit off to Europe,

i'm discouraged by swearing, 

i dislike wives complaining about husbands, 

i feel icky about social-media-climbers, 

i can't bare whiners 

& a string of my own personal judgemental/ preference/ health issues . . .

i click away & move on with my life!!  I don't leave some horrendous-bitchy-nasty-hatefilled-personal attack comment!!  If i'm going to disagree with a point of view, i ensure i have a learned reason, it's never 'i disagree & now i hate you' especially on personal blogs.  Those bloggers are baring their souls & reaching out, that is so brave!!  Sure if you're going to venture beyond 'vanilla blogging' as Edenland calls it, you're going to get more than people's 2 cents worth of opinion, but that can still be filled with love & care, why the negativity & vitriol??  

We are real people, with ideas & feelings, putting it out there . . . many bloggers simply disappear into the ether after a heinous comment or attack . . . that is crushing to think some anonymous troll has such power over you & your happy place - so many of us blog as therapy & our blogs are our happy place. 

 So grab a button or make your own up, let's get blogging back to where it used to be.  Sure i've written posts about competitive blogging & jaded blogging, here, on my own blog with my own opinion, NOT on the blogs of the people who i was generalising about.  Just because you do drink, smoke, eat junk, work, believe in God, swear or whinge, doesn't mean i don't like you blog because you're different to me - one post does not make me judge a blogger!!  
I mention depression as a non blogger asked me "don't you have to have depression or something to complain about as an angle on your blog??"  Ouch, she was corrected, promptly.  I don't have depression nor understand it, however, if blogging helps you, that's wonderful, it's just unlikely i can add a helpful comment to your post about that topic.  Ditto for other issues like special needs children or a physical injury - but hello to my carpal tunnel syndrome readers!!  We have a great sense of community here in blogland.    

I don't care what product you promote in a post & if you're making cash from it . . . good for you.  I personally don't dig the blogs who end up looking like the back-of-magazine-advertising pages filled with flashing ads, they are so distracting & kind of . . . no longer a blog anyway.  But if you do the odd paid post here & there, brilliant, they are informative & the voice of a real person, someone i 'know' & trust.  Most have a reader giveaway - i've won dozens of product giveaway prizes, from simply entering cheerfully. 

If you run a blog off your business, it's very likely i found your business first, then realised there is an ace blog attached.  Tessa from Down That Little Lane is a great example & recently posted on being 'amused by pompous, slaggy abusers' taking it with a grain of salt.  Their loss, as her blog & business are delightful. Tina Gray {dot} Me wrote a beautiful post on forming blog alliances, what a lovely idea for those starting out, or even established bloggers, like a warm blanket.  I would be careful who you pick & reassess, as i've seen informal versions crumble as one blogger has reached great heights (read: income from blogging) much to the jealousy of others in the 'group', guess what, the anonymous negative comments came pouring in.  Blah!!  

Now this is not for journalists & professional writers who write posts to bait comment, indifference & ferocious debate, they're paid to get under our skin & evoke a response.  This is for your fellow, humble, honest, real person blogger.  Who's with me??  Bring back the love & positivity with happiness & support, love Posie