31 October 2012

why it's so totally Ok to love some bloggers

 Greetings all,
I was so overwhelmed by your fantastic take on yesterday's post "why it's so totally Ok to dislike some bloggers" with positive responses on what is essentially a negative topic.  You understood my point - that bloggers are a sample of society, some you are just not going to like, it doesn't mean you hate or troll them, just delete & avoid.  When you read about school children to celebrities attempting or committing suicide over comments on social media, geesh, this is serious stuff.  Hate filled vitriol from a complete stranger can literally kill someone!!  If you don't like someone's blog, it's Ok, click away.  
The craft blogging community seems to have the biggest heart.  Of course it's competitive & some blog to sell their handmade goodies, others generously share every new creation with a tutorial & list of suppliers.  My HUGE tip after a dozen years in the craft business & three years of regular blogging is to find yourself a bloggie confidant.  Take your time, test the waters & think carefully, or let it come naturally - which is how it happened to me - after many questions, email, advice, 'dates' & laughter, i just claimed Tania McCartney as my on line social media confidant before i even knew i needed one.  She's my personal sounding board.  I just emailed her to say 'i've pinched some images from your blog & am doing a post about how you are my confidant."  Now my readers know where to find my secrets, don't bother trying to crack her, she's a vault!!  You might get lucky like me & find a blogger who you love!!   
It happened naturally for a number of reasons:
we were both new to Canberra; we are mummies who adore our children, ADORE; have husbands who adore us, ADORE; actually our husbands are very similar kinds of men; we love to travel, sew, bake, exercise, picnic, shop, swoon over homewares, art, garden, read, fashion, smell flowers & photograph everything around us.  Straight up, we don't clash, we share opinions maturely & agree to disagree.  It was an easy real life friendship, we just happen to be on line as well.  
How it has continued to work so beautifully for years: 
we are in different industries (she's an award winning author) yet can talk small business (highs, wins, lows, pitfalls); we love to share travel tips past, present & future; she gives me endless advice on social media, photography & technology, i give her tips on decorating & bargain finds; we're both feisty Aquarian mother lions yet uncompetitive with each other.  She's like the best sister you could ever hope for!!  Tania's also a freaking super model, so i wear heels when we go out together - she just makes me want to be a better person in every way, including my appearance!!
 So she's the finest example of a blogger who i love.  Tania is local, on the same parenting page as me, effortlessly talented & a breath of fresh air in my life, over the past 4 years.  Hallelujah!!  She's personable, polished & present - rare qualities these days.  We might have met at a Mathilda Market as stall holders . . . yet blogging (& reading her incredibly funny book about living in China, Beijing Tai Tai) helped me get to know her early on & has kept us connected on a daily basis.  Back to her photography skills - amazing right!!  The things she is teaching me about my DSLR & iPhone are big-bucks-conference-worthy.
While i try not to polish my blog too much, keep it spontaneous & written conversationally in-the-moment . . . some stronger opinion pieces i want to throw out there . . . i'll ask for some pre-publishing feedback on first.  I'm quite funny in real life, it's hard to convey in flat 2D blog writing, so Tania stops me from falling flat on my face or bombing with a readership i really appreciate & cherish.  Gosh, she's an editor, i wonder how much i owe her??  Tania, i'll pay you in fresh eggs & smiles.
My tips to finding a crafty/ mummy/ lifestyle bloggie confidant are:
try to find someone local, who knows you (now) personally enough to be completely honest, or a pre-blogging real life friend who understands blogs, who can say "i know what you're trying to say but it doesn't read that way" to avoid you putting your foot in it or starting a topical war you had no intention of creating.  Sarcasm is a very difficult 'mood' to express on blogs, even tongue in cheek, best left alone unless upsetting people is your thing, jokes or not . . . i'm a craft blogger, so from my angle, i'm not here to piss people off or make brains explode with mind blowing intellectual concepts, just share the love of handmade creations & time well spent with family.  I'd also try to find someone with more experience (mentor territory - you are not necessarily their bloggie confidant in return, they might have someone else, they MUST be able to keep your confidence & be trust worthy, especially with intellectual property these days, or the firestorm of bitchiness) who can help guide you through social media.  
Anyone who cries when you give them fresh eggs from your precious hens is a true friend.  Ok, so i did wrap them with a tissue pom pom 'rooster comb' for extra effect.  That's the yard stick ladies.  So keep blogging positively, with a full heart & honest creativity.  Find that special someone out there who you can trust with your 'blog' & give you a big "hells no" if you suddenly want to post something crazy or that's just NOT YOU.  Or don't & be completely free, natural & expressive.  Remember i'm talking crafty, mummy, lifestyle blogs here, not satires, politics or high brow intellect.  Personally i keep religion, politics & sex out of my blog, although one blogger - Megan from Edan Rose - said at a craft retreat 'i can just tell you & your husband have sex like rabbits as you're always so happy & love him to pieces.'  See, somethings can be left unsaid & read between the lines.  Classic.  Love Posie


Fiona @ Brave New Vintage said...

Lovely. I love the balance in your posts. Well said. I speak of my faith on my blog simply to strike a chord with fellow believers. I rave about knitting, crocheting, quilting and my kids to also strike a chord with others. Like you said, I simply expect those who don't like my topics to silently leave. No need to throw mud in someone else's house I say! That is why I read your blog. There is much to relate to and what I don't relate to I am simply fascinated. Thanks for the bloggy confidante tip, makes complete sense. :-) xx

Finki said...

ah Posie...you're always a breath of fresh air. Visiting your blog is like a little reality kick. So honest and open, and not withholding. Love your work and thank you for sharing. Jay x

Tania McCartney said...

Dear Posie - cheque is in the mail (!!!!!).

But seriously - you are too kind, and I mean TOO KIND!

Love you, too. I sometimes wonder if I would have survived last year if it wasn't for you. I feel very blessed to know you in Real Life as well as Blog Life.


Footnote to other readers: that photo is from 1997. I'm a lot fatter and older now!

Unknown said...

Great post

Anonymous said...

Ive seen you and Tania McCartney out together and you are a hoot. A true friendship and clear friends having the times of their lives. x x Ann

The Creative Beast said...

OH! This is a lovely blog post, I love that you have a 'blogger confidant' that is practically like a sister, from the sound of your relationship =-)

Thanks for the tips on finding such a confidant, though it almost sounds like a mentor, both of which are important to have in ones life whether one blogs or not! Great counterpoint to the previous blog Posie - keep up the excellent work!

IndigoElephant :: Sash said...

I've loved reading this post and the last one too... you say it all so well and I love coming here for a quick catch up with Posie! xoxo