Showing posts with label Oprah in Australia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oprah in Australia. Show all posts

23 January 2011

why i never complain about muddy footprints

Greetings all,
Ever have comments & thoughts which play on your mind & stick in your memory??  I want to share some wisdom from my late teens & early 20s. 
One incredibly important facet of part time jobs when you're in your teens, is learning to work with different people, from all walks of life, at a variety of ages & stages in their lives.  While i was at Uni & about to take on the world . . . 
I worked in retail with an immaculate, well travelled lady in her 40s.  She talked of state dinners in Washington, her children's nanny in London & exotic holidays in the Pacific.  Alas, she was serving behind the same counter as me.  Her husband's high flying international business went bankrupt & the only property the bank couldn't take, was an apartment in Sydney.  The only job either of them could get, was her working at a department store.  She was humble, positive & grateful for everything, above all, she still had her marriage & her children. 
She filled me with all sorts of incredible advice on non material things like relationships . . . 'address the petty issues before they fill you with resentment' & maintain the romance, 'even with children, show them you love each other, light candles every night & kiss often'.  It made me notice it was exactly how my parents were with each other & how i wanted to be.  It's how my marriage started & continues!!  The word 'resentment' is incredibly powerful & . . . a waste of time.
Another memorable influence was the wife of the Family Circle magazine Husband of the Year 2001 (my husband, Mr NT was a runner up, the winner, Mr Qld was hard to beat, already a father of 4 & a fireman, say no more!!)  Anyway, his beautiful wife & i were talking about motherhood.  She said, 'i never complain about muddy footprints, my friend just lost a child & the last thing she can remember saying was "don't run through the house leaving muddy footprints" & then, he was gone . . . she wishes she still had muddy footprints to mop up'.  That has haunted me & ruled my ethos that yes, children can be messy, but nothing a mop can't fix at the end of the day. 
Last night my twins were invited to a 9y.o. birthday party.  I had 3 hours with the other children, 25km from home.  Rather than driving back & forth, i took them swimming then out for an early dinner of calamari & chips, which we ate at the Mt Pleasant Look Out.  It's fabulous up there, views of Canberra from the airport to Parliament House to the Telstra Tower.  A storm rolled in & it started to rain, my children were in swim suits & towels anyway, so . . .   
 they jumped in puddles . . .
 over & over . . .
 ran around the walls . . .
 & pointed out the rainbows!!  So glad we stayed out to experience this.  The laughter was deafening & i was out in the rain enjoying it too.
 We came home, late & exhausted (the party girl's mummy wanted to chat, i was available to listen!!)  I had children to run through showers to clean off chlorine & face paint + we had a guest, so the lounge room is a sleep-over make-over & guess what, the floor is covered in muddy footprints!!  Do i care, no, i love it, they tell a story . . . 'we're free, we have friends, we've had fun & our mum let's us jump in puddles in the rain'.  The floors can be mopped later, AFTER our guest has gone, everyone is in bed & i can walk around spotless floors on a Sunday night, kiss my happy able bodied children tucked up in their beds, then look forward to another week of active children & their muddy footprints. 
 I often hear mothers talk of obsessive cleaning "i have OCD" & perfect homes "it's the perfectionist in me, i can't help it".  Could you possibly put more pressure on yourselves??  Trying to make your surrounds perfect is because you're not happy with something inside you.  You're also teaching your children these behaviours.  They are your audience, they notice, they'll copy, they'll stress.   
My children are taught respect for property & to be tidy, our house is always squared away, we keep things simple & uncluttered.  Sometimes you still get muddy footprints.  I'm house proud but don't kill myself cleaning daily, we don't use antibacterial hand wash & my children never get sick.  Guess what people notice when they visit . . . clean floors or fun, relaxed, interesting, enjoyable children??!!  Who are we really trying to impress??  Our husbands, our girlfriends, ourselves, or our children??
Have lovely Sundays everyone, i hope they're filled with muddy footprints.  I'm sewing, baking, playing with children all day so i can spend my evening, you guessed it, mopping & steaming those floors, i'll love it!!  Love Posie

UPDATE: auctions now ending at 9p.m. on Monday 24th January & raffles
now ending at midday on Wednesday 26th January.  Thanks for your support in raising over $600 at this little Posie blog so far, keep those generous donations coming!!  For more auctions & raffles, go to Make it Perfect, Queenslanders are feeling the love.  Oprah has told you to support it too.  Did you know during the few hours after her first Oprah Australia Adventure show went to air, the public donations increased from $100M to $120M??  Did you also notice she has weather perfection everywhere she went??  Her amazing positive power is out of this world!!

19 January 2011

are you ready to OPRAH??

Greetings all,
Excited about the Oprah in Australia Show on tonight??  I am.  Very sorry to miss out on the real thing in Sydney last month, but I’ll be bursting come 7.30p.m. when the special feature is on.  Put the children to bed early, i'm watching television!! 
Oprah sends me emails, advice, links & special offers each day, thanks Oprah . . . today I followed an email link to Life Coach Martha Beck . . . 10 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn. Ok Martha, let’s see what you think we should change about the way we think.  I saw blog posts talking about Gywneth Paltrow's parenting tips (she has a newsletter with tips for we mortal mothers, thanks Gywnnie but no thanks) BUT this is for adults & you can start working on these 'life lessons' with your children, after you've sorted your self out.  I should have titled this post 'free therapy' actually!!

1. Problems are bad. Finding the solution to each problem is what gives life its gusto. 
2. It's important to stay happy. Focus on something that makes you miserable. Then think, "I must stay happy!" Stressful, isn't it? Now say, "It's okay to be as sad as I need to be." This kind of permission to feel as we feel—not continuous happiness—is the foundation of well-being.
Great advice, tell me more Martha . . .
3. I'm irreparably damaged by my past. Painful events leave scars, true, but it turns out they're largely erasable. Take an issue that's been worrying you and think of three reasons that belief may be wrong. Your brain will begin to let it go.
This just saved you thousands in therapy, already, by point 3!!
4. Working hard leads to success. Baby mammals, including humans, learn by playing, so play as you did in childhood . . . watch for ways your childhood playing skills can solve a problem.
5. Success is the opposite of failure. Studies show that people who worry about mistakes shut down, but those who are relaxed about doing badly soon learn to do well. Success is built on failure.
I can feel Amy Chua gasping, this could not possibly be more opposite to her Eastern ways of parenting children to success!!
6. It matters what people think of me. Ridiculous! Right now, imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.
7. We should think rationally about our decisions. Your rational capacities are far newer and more error-prone than your deeper, "animal" brain. Instead of weighing pros and cons intellectually, notice your physical response to each option. Pay attention to when your body tenses or relaxes.
Brilliant, especially for adults, i'm unlearning this one!!
8. The pretty girls get all the good stuff. I unlearned this after years of coaching beautiful clients. Yes, these lovelies get preferential treatment in most life scenarios, but there's a catch: While everyone's looking at them, virtually no one sees them.
9. If all my wishes came true right now, life would be perfect. Check it out: People who have what you want are all over rehab clinics, divorce courts, and jails. The joy, not the thing, is the point.
Appears it's a bonus not to be gorgeous or famous.
10. Loss is terrible. I'd smile when I was sad, pretend to like people who appalled me. What I now know is that losses aren't cataclysmic if they teach the heart and soul their natural cycle of breaking and healing.
I particularly like this last one as i don't take on anyone's negativity, i don't have a poker face & i can not fake nice to people i loathe. 
So enjoy Oprah tonight & if you're cruising blog land, don't forget to check out the master list & today's featured auctions & raffles at Make it Perfect, have raised $45K & counting for the Qld Flood Appeal.  Keep the bids coming & raffle ticket buying.
Bid on my patchwork quilt here, donate $5 for a raffle tick for my book, pencil roll & fabric goodies here.  Thanks for your support, love Posie