10 ways i'm feeling my age . . .

Greetings all,

Yay . . . we have a wedding this weekend, finally a wedding to attend with my beloved husband (& not be put on the 'singles' table, first time in 9 years!!)  I'm so looking forward to it, however, i am facing up to my age at every turn or perhaps my 'stage' in life, as i wonder where my care-free-natural-youthful-effortless-preparation-for-big-events has gone??  I don't like to put makeup on with a trowel, but i might have to start learning, eeek!!  

1. my hair is no longer naturally blonde, it's now mousey & needs to be coloured

2. i question my choice of sparkly Alannah Hill frock - it looks like Chanel, buttery cream with black sequins: fun & flirty.  Can i pull off this look, mother of a high schooler??   

 3. i've gained weight & running around the block for a week ain't going to fix the jiggles, so i've purchased a suck-you-in-at-all-the-right-places stretchy thing i tug on around my body

4. eating salads to avoid any bloating is not an option, it's a must this week 

5. hair colour will zap my new shoes budget, i've actually let these words slip out of my mouth . . . "i could always wear shoes i already have". . . i don't know who i am anymore - to skip a husband-approved-new-shoes-opportunity??  

6. i really want to carry my cute little silver heart sequin purse, it's from the Seed children's section, i've seen similar in glossy magazines for quadruple the price . . . it's charming yet doesn't match anything i'm wearing, will anyone notice??  I don't judge the person but i do admire a well put together ensemble & i haven't given up trying . . . yet

7. my first reaction to the wedding invitation was to consult a babysitter 

8. i barely wear makeup, to the point where my makeup essentials are stale & need updating.  Add to that a facial & eye brow wax - i didn't put this much effort into my own wedding day (15 years ago) sigh, i didn't have to!!

9. there is a 3 hour gap between wedding ceremony & reception, it's in a vineyard, with soldiers just back from deployment, there is wine tasting, i predict disaster come speech time.  I'll have a camera & will remember the next day, i don't drink alcohol.  Meanwhile, i need to brush up on small talk & seek out the pregnant wives for coherent company

10. this is the weirdest feeling of all, my husband is the boss, like those 60's & 70's television sitcoms where everyone panics as the boss is going to be at an event - that still happens in the Army, as there is rank & my handsome soldier took many wedding guests to war.  My husband is a soldier's soldier, one of the boys, he shared a room with the groom in Afghanistan, but still . . . he's the boss & i'm the boss's wife, that makes me feel old - especially as i'm still the first wife!!  Most wives don't care so much about rank but some do, i've never met anyone going to this wedding, so i'm hoping to mingle title free.  Either that i'll pick out the competitive career wives - those who make nice to elevate their husband's prospects of promotion, i've seen that happen, it's alarming to think it would ever make a difference, compared to just being nice for nice sake??  

Am i alone in this effort & strategy filled preparation for a big event??  Call it a full dress rehearsal for my 20 year school reunion later this year. 

In the meantime, my fuss-free husband cruised straight into Hugo Boss for a new suit off the rack with minor sleeve & trouser length adjustments = absolute perfection, add coordinating shirt (on pre-sale special) + Turnbull & Asser tie from Bloomingdales in Dubai . . . boom, he looks like a freaking cat walk model!!  Model wears own shoes.  Humph, love Posie

social commentary Sunday . . . 'quirky marriages'

Greetings all,

Handsome soldier is back from war so why am i blogging when i should be ravishing him??  Because he's gone.  Just like that, home to Canberra for a couple of days to buy a brand new family car & a dapper new suit for an upcoming wedding, blink & he's off again . . . for a week of 'decompression' at his unit in Brisbane.  If you saw the homecoming parades & soldiers in Townsville on the weekend news, he was in Afghanistan with them. 
You read a lot of about marriages in blog land . . . intense, loving, romantic, turbulent, violent, lost . . . but most often, quirky.  There are celebrity marriages where famous couples live apart - for the considerably creative genius, sharing their life full time with someone might never work . . . & then there is my marriage, filled with quirks & living apart for 4 years as Army life suddenly clashed with our eldest starting high school - our 9th school, it was time for educational stability.  The situation is functional, we miss each other like crazy, raising children solo is no picnic & they miss Daddy + he's deployed to Afghanistan twice during this posting to Brisbane so he's not even in Australia, however, we've decided to settle here in Canberra where my husband can afford to semi retire in his mid 40s & raise those teenagers with me (we consider that the business end of parenting.)  Our eyes are firmly on the prize, the bigger picture.  
I know we're not alone - there are zillions of couples living apart, most often the husband for his work & i believe it's the quirks in the relationship which keep it alive & thriving.  We rarely argue - people either don't believe us or consider it incredibly boring; i'm feisty & he's a man of integrity; basically i'm no door mat & he's not an arsehole, we just get along really well.  He's my best friend in the world, very easy to stay in love with.  We compliment each other.  On all the big life decisions . . . like him joining the Army, us getting married, when to have babies, what to name the babies, how to raise the babies, buying properties/ cars/ holidays, deaths in the family, moving interstate, which family to have Christmas with - we come to natural agreements.  We talk, actually i talk, he listens, his few words to my 100 are meaningful & worthwhile, however, if we really don't agree on something, even early on in our relationship, i let things go, agree to disagree - we fight fair, stay on point, it's clean.  
Sometimes i think it's because my husband has a dangerous job, i like home to be calm, no petty debate on insignificant things.  I don't do drama.  We laugh a lot.  We have history; private jokes; silly ways of doing things; ridiculous names & pronunciations for regular things; we stress about different things & support each other during those times.  We do not compete & know our roles - while cooking, i'm his kitchen hand; while shopping, he carries the bags; working on the car, i'm his apprentice; while decorating, he is the tall person who hang things where i point to.  He tricks me & jumps out at me in the dark (i scream, the children yell "go to sleep") & he eats half of my dessert without me noticing; then he does kind things, like making a heat pack & hot chocolate when i have cramps.  Heart of gold that boy.  He convinces me to watch action movies under the guise "it's a love story" & i'll find a way to cry.     
The Army sends out pamphlets on 'awkward sex' & other 'issues' which can occur after separation . . . i say 'forget it, why waste time with weird'.  I just giggle & say "OMG, i've forgotten how to have sex" & make it fun, rather than intense romantic pressure from the get go.  My trick is that i have an amnesty, where he cannot complain about anything i might have changed/ purchased/ damaged or moved around the house/ car/ garden/ lifestyle, for the first 3 days he's home.  If he starts to say something like "Jesus is that a new scratch on the car" . . . i get an extra day of amnesty.  In that time, he might glare longingly at something like an antique trunk & i have time to fix the situation (read: shove trunk in the garage & disguise as storage) before it's an issue.  It works brilliantly, like a mind game, no feelings harmed.  This is why he's being so good about the chickens, i'm still on my amnesty!! 
Now along with the i-love-you groceries, he also came home to gifts, new pyjamas, ugg boots & cook books.  Neat distraction from the fact he no longer has any shelf or hanging space in the walk-in-robe (because he hasn't lived here for so long) or any Winter clothes.  The first morning home, he drove us around town in pyjama pants as i'd washed his only decent jeans which he wore off the plane.  That's another quirk, my love for cleaning, even the children call the washing machine 'my boyfriend' & i constantly wash up utensils while my husband is still cooking with them.  Drives him nuts, but it annoys me how he wears a tea towel over his shoulder instead of just using the one hanging, as it's never there when i go to use it.  Do i get angry, never, i'm just thrilled he's home.   

What are the quirky habits which keep your relationship alive??  We have resisted pet names for each other & i can't call him at work with silly messages, so our quirks are all at home, with the side benefit of embarrassing our children.  Love Posie