19 February 2013

"if this is love, then love is easy, it's the easiest thing to do"

 Greetings all,
In light of Valentine's Day last week, i'm doing a love post.  I truly believe McFly's lyrics in their Love is Easy song . . . "if this is love, then love is easy, it's the easiest thing to do" . . . love should be easy, joyful & natural.  My husband & i often come home from a night out/ trip away (without the other) & say "thank goodness we're together, & happy!!"  It's not the "i'd rather be with you than be alone" . . . last year five of my acquaintances separated from their husbands . . . it happens, they realised the love was gone.  I understand marriage, monogamy & commitment forever, isn't for everyone . . . i tell our children that some people would look at the six of us & think "OMG, imagine having 4 children" or "who'd want to be married??" . . . everyone is different & desires different things, love comes to them later in life, or tragedy strikes . . . people are together or alone for unlimited reasons.  
I love marriage, i think it's beautiful & easy.  I saw an 'Agony Uncle' style programme the other night & the question was asked "when did you know it was time to get married" & the men said "when my wife told me it was" which made me giggle.  We definitely talked about it in advance, however, it was still a surprise when my then boyfriend asked me to marry him - had asked my father . . . & minutes later my mother presented us with an engagement gift, wrapped with a card - she knew, as well as i did, i was going to marry this boy.  Then we went ring shopping.  
 If there is one thing i've learned in my 30s, it's that i don't care what other people think.  I was never a self conscious type & i don't mean this in a belligerent way . . . my love for my husband is not hurting anyone, if someone poo poos marriage, commitment or love to me, well that's their choice/ decision/ issue.  Each to their own.  Everyone strives for different goals.  That's what makes the world go round & keeps things interesting.  For me, meeting the right guy has made so many amazing things harmonious in my life, right down to wanting/ having four children & desiring a life on a farm.  I got this sorted out when i was a teenager, hit the love jackpot early & we've cruising along ever since.  Some people think it's boring if you don't fight with your partner??  Or that i'm on permanent honeymoon as my handsome soldier keeps coming home from war!!  Nothing affects the love my husband & have for each other.  In fact, we thrive on the milestones, as they are all steps to the bigger picture . . . unashamedly, life in our late 40s with four adult children & knowing it will be 'just us' again.    
My school teacher niece & her electrician boyfriend came to Canberra - to take our old Jeep Cherokee - to live in Sydney with them.  We gave it to them - we bought her cheaply years ago from friends who were moving overseas.  It was such a great feeling watching twenty somethings drive off in something which might be a big part of their future . . . marriage, maybe children.  He's joining the military soon - their story is surprisingly similar to ours, as is their love story - it's an easy one.            
A lovely quote which has stayed with me "the best thing for a father to do for his children, is love their mother" & i believe that is true.  We had our babies in our 20s, loads of energy & fun, plus they were sleepers & never ill, be breezed through it all . . . now we're at the business end, with teenagers & team parenting has never been more important.  
I just spent my 19th Valentine's Day with the love of my life & he brought home roses, that's about 5 bunches of Valentine flowers in all those years, they make him sneeze . . . they were beautiful, sweet & thoughtful, best of all, a genuine heart felt surprise & to our audience . . . our children . . . we are showing them a decent example of how easy, happy & harmonious love can be.  I can't watch shows where couples are at each other's throats, arguing constantly, yelling & not resolving anything . . . worse - manipulating & undermining their partner - that's not entertainment, it's awful, nasty & mean.  Love Posie


Just Martha said...

Hello my sweet. The Silver Fox and I are pretty similar except we had kiddies in our early 30s. We met on valentine's Day when I was out on a date with someone else!! That was 25 years ago so we celebrated with half a steak sandwich each and half a white chocolate cheesecake too. Aaaahhh! Bliss!

Nat - Muddy Farmwife said...

Lovely Jennie, thanks for this lovely read this afternoon on Love. xoxox

Michele @ The Hills are Alive said...

A lovely love story. We have just celebrated 10 years and know thats is a forever marriage. We had kids that DID NOT sleep and have frequently been sick, and one with special needs as well as we all know the odds for marriage in those circumstances but still in love and while I wouldnt say it is ALWAYS easy (we have had a lot of life stressors in the 10 years) it is ALWAYS US and an underlying knowledge that this is just a bump or a hiccup and not going to effect our marriage. Have seen too many people separate/divorce and the fall out from that. So grateful we chose well and that its turning out ok. It can be hard but every bit worthwhile.

sindy said...

It is lovely to recognise how happy and lucky we can be with wonderful partners. Having been through the most stressful building project i feel i can take on anything with my handsome man. But i do have to say that whilst i agree that the best example a couple can set their children is loving and respecting each other i also think that separating after proper consideration can be the best thing where staying together would set a negative lasting memory for your children.

fee @ chipper nelly said...

hey - too too long since I've been over here. And I just bloody LO♥E a love story. Me and Cleggy are still blissfully happily in love and rarely argue. AND I still fancy him like crazy. We celebrate 20 yrs married this summer (Venice....ALONE, can't wait!) and consider ourselves very VERY lucky. fee x

Melbourne Girl said...

Oh boy I hear you!
I've never understood the theory that you need to argue and have a fiery relationship. I can't think of anything worse (and more tiring) than constant bickering just to keep things interesting.

We don't "do" Valentines day, but I'm just as likely to find roses and gardenias, picked from the garden, next to my bed on any day of the year
I not only love my bloke, but I really like him too and I like things to be relaxed
Thanks for this. Lovely thoughts

Tania McCartney said...

I love how much you love. x

My Brave True Hero said...

Just put your heart on it and love will be the easiest thing to do. I love the picture of the flowers it like a love overflowing.