19 August 2012

social commentary Sunday . . . 'what do your jewels say??'

Greetings all,
I love how strangers inspire some blog posts - this week's social commentary is thanks to a lovely lady at the optometrist who asked if i was engaged.  I looked at her strangely & said "no, i've been married for 15 years" & then realised i was only wearing my engagement ring.  Since i had surgery on both my wrists earlier this year . . . my fingers swell & i often have to remove rings because they hurt.  I don't like to be naked on my ring finger, sometimes i just wear my wedding band, other times my engagement ring, or just my eternity ring (a gift from my husband this year, colluding with jeweller Emma Kidson, such a surprise & the perfect compliment to my other rings!!)
So just from looking at my left hand, you can see i'm married, maybe a young bride, possibly a while ago.  My diamonds are modest, suggesting i didn't marry for money??  A keen eye would also note my rings are white gold . . . i'm allergic to yellow gold + i prefer silver jewellery.  The 5 diamonds on my eternity ring represent my husband & our 4 children.  All that information from a glance at the jewellery on one finger.  
Recently a friend celebrated her 20th wedding anniversary & was bursting to show me her updated wedding rings - yes, updated - she had always wanted bigger & better diamonds.  Personally i wasn't fussed on even having a diamond in my engagement ring, a lovely sapphire would have been perfect, but my husband saved up & insisted on a diamond.  But to update my half carat diamond to something bigger, later in life because we might be able to afford it??  Never.  I love what my rings say about us, who we were.  
My sister refused to take off her wedding rings when she had surgery, to me they are merely symbolic jewels, my marriage is in my heart.  My sister-in-law is a dentist & can't wear her rings under gloves, she often leaves them at the surgery or by a basin.  This proved hazardous with her son 15 years ago, when he took her engagement ring & proposed to a girl in his kindergarten class.  Luckily the mother of the betrothed girl realised it was 'real' & returned it, phew!!  My darling nephew had bitten the ring to make it fit her too.  I completely understand - when i was 5 - i chomped down on my mother's jade ring to make it fit me.  
My mother had Joy perfume, Chanel handbags & Missoni dresses collected from travels, however, her wedding rings . . . after 40 years of marriage, she had them soldered together as they had worn so thin.  They were the best my father could afford at the time & to my mother, they meant the world, representing where they came from - children of the depression & married young in 1955.  I really respected that.  
How about you, do your jewels say a lot about you too??  Can you take your wedding rings off??  Do you feel naked without them??  I fiddle with mine when i talk to people, they are my little security blankets.  My husband can't wear rings to work, he goes for months without wearing a wedding band, even at home he forgets.  Sob - i've often  farewelled him off to war only to come home to find his wedding band on my bed side table, now that is heart breaking!!  My wedding bands will always be my favourite pieces of jewellery, what they mean & the story behind our young love.  Love Posie  


Lisa - Sweet Little Pretties said...

I am like you I feel naked without my rings - I always play with them, I haven't had mine for long (engaged 2009 and married 2011) but always get comments to ask if they are really mine - I wouldn't change them at all and could never 'upgrade' my rings. Your rings are beautiful xx

Naturally Carol said...

Lovely to read your story..although mine is more like your husband's..hehe! I took my engagement and wedding rings off my finger when my first was in nappies to stop the diamond from scratching him and put them away. I haven't worn them since. I feel that my kids are the story of our marriage and don't really even think about jewellry.

Mother Down Under said...

I never wear my rings...I do love them and I love what they stand for but I can't wear them at work, when I was pregnant my fingers were too fat to wear them, and then when Baby C was born I was afraid of scratching him. So I am afraid I have completely gotten out of the habit of wearing them!
My husband never wear his either...he also can't wear his at work. In fact we knew that he would never wear his so we just got him an op shop gold ring to use in the ceremony! I don't think either of us even knows where it is now!

little love said...

My wedding, eternity & engagement rings are the only jewelery i wear. I've been glad that I've been able to wear them even while pregnant. My engagement ring is modest as we were 18 when we were engaged & while my husband always says he wishes he could've bought something 'better' I always tell him that even if I had chosen it I wouldn't have picked something else! He made it up with my wedding ring though, having one made with diamonds all around the band - the gold used was from my Dads engagement band.

Jo in TAS said...

Great story Posie. My hubby doesn't wear his wedding band. We wed when he was still in the army and getting on and off armoured vehicles was hazardous, fingers could be ripped off. He only wears it now for special occassions. My engagement ring is an emerald with little diamonds each side, it was inexpensive and our we eloped. All of our money was being pumped into a mortgage. With family spread all over Australia it was easier to run-off and do our own thing, it was very special with a few close friends for witnesses. 15 years on my rings are getting too small and I can't even get them off, i think this summer i'll have to get them cut-off and hopefully resized. I once took them off and i think it upset my hubby, to him i suppose it was a bit like how you feel when you see your band sitting on the bedside table

rachelmp said...

Mine say that I was married early without a lot of money, that I do like diamonds and gold, and love hearts. My engagement ring is tiny but it doesn't mean that I am not happily married for a minute! I will never take off my wedding ring nor will my husband

posie blogs Jennie McClelland said...

My husband chose my rings & test drove the bezel setting so it wouldn't scratch him (or babies) so that was a huge success.
He was mechanised infantry, so hopping into armoured personal carriers was a great way to hook a ring on a catch & rip off your finger, like Jo's husband with tanks!! Love Posie

Unknown said...

I never took mine off at all til late in my first pregnancy. Thereafter I usually just wear the wedding band which has 5 little diamonds in it and put the engagement ring and eternity ring ( which I wear in my right hand) on when I go out.

Simone - honeyandfizz said...

I love the story behind your rings Jennie. I still can't get my rings on yet (took them off at 5mths pregnant) since having Noah and feel a bit naked without them. Can't wait to get them on again xx

emma @ frog, goose and bear said...

My wedding and engagement ring are pretty much the only jewelery i wear. I only take mine off when cooking something that requires mixing with hands as the engagement ring is very tricky to clean! If I forget to put it back on straight away, I feel naked. My husband takes his off for work all of the time as he is a surgeon and can't wear them during surgery. He lost his original wedding ring when he left them in a set of scrubs! So he now wears the replacement.

Cas said...

great post posie. i NEVER take mine off, even for gardening & my jeweller scowls at me! i even refused to take off my engagement ring when we married. to me that was there before we married so why remove it? my rings have emeralds, which represents my husbands favourite stone, my favourite colour & also my mothers favourite colour. i also figured seeing as it was his hard earned money, i wanted to put something in there that he also loved. on my right hand ring finger, i proudly wear my mothers black pearl engagement ring. i always adored it as a child :) black !! so unique. my hands wear the love of 2 great bonds :)so i guess i have the best of both worlds.

Mum on the Run said...

That's gorgeous - and so are your rings.
I'm not particularly into 'jewels' and am quite ignorant about cut, clarity & carats etc.
My engagement and wedding rings are white gold too - and pretty modest.
I actually feel uncomfortable about the prospect of huge amounts of money (that we just don't have anyway) dangling off my finger.
I wear my rings constantly - even though I should take better care of them. I hate leaving them in for cleanng, so they are looking very shabby and need replating.
Replating - but never replacing.

Hubby isn't a big jewellery fan - but I like him to wear his ring.
It often ends up in the bathroom though - with work, paddling and gym excuses galore!
:-) xxx

TexWisGirl said...

i have never liked the idea of 'updating' ring sets later on either, just because you want bigger jewels or can afford more. i have several anniversary rings that i wear in lieu of my wedding set, but i keep all of them.

Seaweed and Raine said...

Yep, like you I feel naked without my rings... and I play with mine too! When I was pregnant the first time, my fingers used to swell up (the last few weeks)... so because I didn't want to be without them, I wore them on a necklace. My diamond is modest, but it's what my rings stand for that is the important part.

Sophie Slim said...

This is so sweet,
I've often dreamt of bigger better (more) diamonds, but as I have only been married 3.5 years, I'm still in those "who we were" years. I know that in decades to come I will look back fondly and appreciate the road we took. My husband also saved up for months as a secret, even moved back to his parents home so he could save more before we were engaged.

I really appreciate that. A LOT. Good men! The beginning of a good marriage: Wanting to please me ;) Heh

A said...

Such an interesting post! I loved the story behind your rings and also, your mom's ring :-)

posie blogs Jennie McClelland said...

I had my rings replated this year too, Emma Kidson did them & this is how she got the measurements for my eternity ring, which she was making on the side, as a surprise for me when my husband returned from Afghanistan. Love Posie

supermac said...

I love the story of your rings. We pretty much have the same attitude about our jewels and the person who gave them.

Cheers and lovely to be back.

Cherie @ raising master Max said...

I absolutely love my rings.

They probably look extravagant? But they were made by a friend of mine, who knew my tastes exactly, & she didn't mark them up 150% like the jewellers do.

So they were extravagant. At a very modest price.

I'd have been livid if Dave paid too much.

I don't like to be without them. But I also don't like jewellery.

They are literally the only jewellery I own that I wear every day :)

I think jewellery says a LOT about someone :)

A lot.


Danielle McDonald said...

I didn't want an engagement ring at all. I did not want all the fuss but I have a lovely simple little wedding band with a few little diamonds in it which I like to think of as a combined wedding/ engagement ring. When it came time to buy our wedding rings we had a little pact that it was all about our love of the ring, regardless of the price (on a modest budget of course) and my husband found his first. When I found the one I wanted it turned out to be half the price ad his! We was very put out by this but I did not care. I still love my ring and don't wear any others at all.....and every now and then I get a kick out of reminding him of his expensive taste!

Duyvken said...

I've got a lovely engagement ring, yellow gold (which is kind of daggy these days but will be sure to make a comeback eventually), a 1/4 carat diamond that I love and a wedding band that is engraved with my husband's name and our wedding date. No eternity ring (although secretly I would love one, maybe for our 20th anniversary).

Amanda said...

Love this post and loved reading about 'the story' behind your rings and why they were chosen. I especially love the 5 diamonds on your eternity ring and the symbolism behind them. My engagement ring is from 2004 and was the first I tried on (I looked at others but came back to my initial choice). I like that it is simple. My wedding band is just plain as I wanted it to match my husband's and my eternity band is 'sprinkled' in pave set diamonds. I never take these rings off during day to day wear and feel naked without them :)