my pregnancy & birth stories: the mega mix

Greetings all,
I got into blogging after my 4^th baby had commenced preschool & never posted my pregnancy & birth experiences.  After reading so many birth stories in blogland + my cousin had a baby last week (my husband is so clucky, vasectomy says ‘no’) . . . i thought I’d share my story . . .

  Pregnancy: I went into each pregnancy with my eyes wide open . . . from my sister & 4 sisters-in-law . . . I knew infertility, cervical cancer, miscarriage, still birth, bleeding, PND, intramuscular stitches, shock, OCD, mastitis, premature labour, episiotomies, reflux & emergency Caesareans can happen.  I fortunately skipped every single one of these painful heartaches.  This is not a rosey glasses view – this is my real story, honest & for true!! 

I had all of my babies in Darwin, Northern Territory.  We moved there in 1998, a few weeks pregnant & headed to the Private Hospital to find an obstetrician, the amazing Dr Andrew Miller (delivered each of my babies).  My ‘uneventful’ planned pregnancies were all the same: pregnant first time we tried - which made for short lived fun-baby-making-sex . . . to vomiting 24/7 for 9 months!!  I attended ante natal classes (solo, handsome soldier away), never smoked, drank coffee or alcohol, nothing to give up. 

  Labour: Now the only medical hiccup was mine – I had a spontaneous retinal detachment in my right eye when I was 21, so at my first OB appointment we agreed that lots of pushing at delivery could pop a retina & I’d have an epidural (controlled labour, push at the end).  Each of my epidural lines were put in before I went into labour (drugs not connected until required, then self-administered pain relief, I was familiar from pharmacology) i could walk around & shower, all very affective & active.  No high speed screaming trip to hospital/ waters breaking in public for me, NOTHING exciting like you see on television.

Delivery: None of my babies wanted to come out, all induced, first labour took 3 days, at 41+ weeks.  Each baby was delivered onto my chest, eyes open but not crying, weighing average 3.3kg, even the twins!!  Baby 1 required forceps (big head) & me, one stitch (tiny vagina) ha ha!!  When you have twins, your husband is handed the first baby, I was busy delivering her sister 4 minutes later.  Twin 2 was breech & pulled out by her feet, then placed on my chest – hungry, I was handed twin 1 & instantly taught how to dual breast feed, covered in vernix & all.  Darwin Private don’t wipe off the white vernix, best baby moisturiser ever!!    

  Guests: Actually I had my visiting parents at the delivery of our twins, I figured my father had NEVER seen a baby being born & knowing I have epidurals, it would be calm.  I remember the OB saying to my father “put the newspaper down, you’re going to miss it” as Dad hid behind the Sydney Morning Herald like a screen – let’s just say, we all focussed on the babies NOT where they were coming out from!!  Best of all, my parents got to see a normal delivery & a breech, they made the 2^nd cuts of umbilical cords & each carried a baby back to the room!! 

Birth Plan: I didn’t create birth plans, I agreed with my OB & had met all of the midwives who might be there at show time.  I didn’t want whale music, poetry or candles, just healthy babies.  Hospital policy was to keep you in for 6 days after a straight forward delivery, sending you off into the real world confident & informed.  The rooms included a king bed & fridge, complimentary champagne & 6 meals a day, leather recliner & bathroom, who’d want to leave?? 

 Post Partum: I remember bumping into Dr Miller when our first baby was 7 days old, my husband & I were off to the cinema, he said “see, babies don’t stop you from doing anything” & I have absolutely lived by those words.  I had everything going for me as a new mummy, healthy babies, plenty of milk, supportive husband & tonnes of energy.  Each of my babies slept through the night, 12 hours, from when they were 3-5 weeks of age.  So on top of having 4 babies in my 20s, I didn’t suffer sleep deprivation. 

Breast feeding: Each of my babies attached to the breast perfectly, “big mouths & big boobs” one midwife said "Special K lips", from birth they slept 4 hours.  My mum always said “never make a rod for your own back” so I never fussed over them, they all fell asleep on the breast & popped into bed, no burping & no vomit, done.  I would vacuum around their cots while they slept, I could move them from cot to car seat to pram to car seat to cot without them waking to do the grocery shopping.  We lived on an air force base in the tropics, all windows open, fighter jets, barking dogs, they slept through it all.  I only used bottles to express milk & never sterilised them or used anti bacterial hand wash – we had good germs.  I breast fed all the girls for 18 months, had a month off, pregnant again.  I fed our son for 24 months .

  Situations: We were living in Sydney while pregnant with my son, I couldn’t get into any private OB (at 4 weeks!!) & they quoted $6K + appointments in fees.  Gulp.  So I rang my Darwin OB & he said if I flew up for the first trimester appointment & for delivery, he’d charge me cost.  Please don’t think we were rich & I was jetting about hospital-shopping . . . in 2003 my husband was on $35K & I was sewing a little at home with 3 daughters.  My flights, hotel, car hire & baby delivery cost $1K!!  We didn’t have much but we had health insurance.  So glad I did, my ante natal at Royal North Shore Hospital, hmmm, awful experience . . . they asked me if my husband beat me/ was the father/ wanted the baby, they wrote my age as 38 not 28, & my son was breech so they said “Caesarean” no choice.  My husband stayed in Sydney with our girls & I had our son in Darwin (I chose my OB over my husband at the birth, yes really) baby turned, easy delivery which I videotaped (in the mirror) while I was on the phone to my husband.  Multitask that one mums!!  Then I flew home with him, 4 days old, ready to meet his Daddy (bursting with pride) & join his sisters.  I have since been advised that domestic violence often commences during pregnancy, isn’t that HORRIFYING!! 

  Coming Home: Every time we brought a new baby home, we let our puppy sniff & check them out first, helped with jealousy.  My husband had his wisdom teeth out 4 days after I delivered twins, so I had to drive myself home from hospital (my father babysat him & his swollen cheeks).  With each new baby, I focussed on the toddlers, carried on like normal, avoided sibling rivalry (very easy with settled new borns) - I used to sit my toddler between the twin’s heads when they fed & read to her (malleable boobs!!)

Journey: This smooth ride has not been lost on us, we know we’re lucky & appreciate it.  They are allergy free, smart, sporty & social.  I am strict & consistent, i have to maintain order or they’ll over run me.  I look back at the time I had 4 under 4 years 8 months, BEST time of my life.  In a blink I’ll have 4 teenagers, so I savour the time I have with them now, embrace full time motherhood & our wonderful future.

  Advice: Take all advice, good, bad & ugly, preparation & knowledge is power.  No delivery is perfect, however, I delivered full intact placentas & had minimal bleeding.  I lost ALL the weight in the first fortnight (hello Hollywood) & Yoga rebuilt my strength.  I did poo when I pushed out my first baby so I would recommend ANYONE to have an enema & be empty, it feels like the baby is coming out of your bottom during labour!!  I had zero back pain in other deliveries - post bowel evacuation.  Ask for things & question medical staff if it doesn't feel right.  When my milk came in, my husband had to hold my boobs while I showered, I could not bend down with those heavy bowling balls on my chest!!  I suffered haemorrhoids, a midwife named ‘Joy’ said “honey, you have grapes of wrath down there”, good to know, pass me the Preparation H & a blow up rubber ring, no really!! 
Now my greatest thing EVER . . . stick ice packs in your knickers after delivery, REALLY, reduces swelling & makes a HUGE difference in speedy recovery.  First time I kept melting disposable ice packs, so next time, I filled up condoms with water & froze them (you don’t insert them, hell no, you lay them flat in your knickers on top of the giant maternity pads, they melt so make lots!!)  ONLY – warn any guests about your new iced penis sculpture hobby, as my darling conservative father went looking for the champagne in the room fridge & discovered them.  Oh we laughed!! 

Motherhood: Once you resign yourself to the fact you are a mother & life will never be the same again, things will really fall into place.  I’m all about your husband still being number 1 in your world, then babies, he was there first & will be there last, when your babies grow up & leave home . . . having a wonderful loving relationship with lots of communication & sex makes for a very smooth transition from couple to parents.  We waited 4 weeks after each delivery before giving sex a go again, it was fine 'down there' but 'up top' - milk EVERYWHERE so i kept a bra on & milk pads in, charming.  Fun times!!  

So that is my story, it’s a long one, lots of babies.  I often wonder if marrying my teen love, then having children young (our first born came along 5 years after we first kissed) assisted healthy pregnancy statistics & coping so well with the fast changes in our lives.  My handsome soldier & I have been through every possible major stressor – losing a parent, having a baby, having twins, having 4 babies, 5 war zones, buying properties, moving interstate 7 times, living in poverty, living apart – through it all we’ve had love, trust & laughter.  I believe I was born to be a mother, my siblings were freaking out though, I was pregnant at 23 straight out of Uni, but it was the most natural thing & thanks to Mr Love.Commitment.Marriage.Babies – there was never any doubt in my mind we’d be a success at this parenting game. 

Cheers to you parents out there, you are all remarkable, ditch the guilt – if you know better, do better, quit the frills & just get on the floor with the toys, eye ball your children, just love them & you’ll get it back tenfold.  Love Posie

magazine weather

Greetings all,

Where did Summer go??  This is midday, frowny face. 

 "Grey skies are gonna clear up . . . put on a happy face!!"

 Or detour to the newsagency for some magazine candy, add a little pink bowl of sweet chilli chippies (yummy treat) & it's a lazy school holiday afternoon.

 Yes, i bought Dolly, yay, with free jammies.  I buy the odd teen magazine for my teenager - you heard it here first, earth shattering revelation!!  I remember my mum wasn't cool enough to buy glossy teen magazines when i was 13 & my big sister wouldn't share . . . so i relied on my best girlfriend's supply.  We'd giggle, gasp & hypothesise 'what would we do??'  I'd rather my daughters read these magazines at home so they can ask me questions, rather than their equally ill informed peers.  Sure you can google facts - but where is the emotion or specific-to-you information?? 

 The most offensive thing i found was an image of Suri Cruise in heels??!! Oh that girl has attitude, look at her, spoilt much?? This is why i don't comment on celebrities often, i end up sounding righteous about them living in unrealistic bubbles . . . however, i'll take this opportunity to ask if anyone else thought Angelina Jolie looked like she had period cramps at the Golden Globes, she looked uncomfortable.  Anyway, i rated my flick through Dolly as pretty decent, good fashion & accessories (not trashy & very affordable) with articles on overcoming girl bullies, boy crushes & other mainstream topics. 

 Oh & look at gorgeous Dianna Agron from Glee & her super pretty hair do.  I'll be taking that picture to the salon in 6 weeks, i'm growing out my boy band hair to be cut level/ even/ bob length again.  Of course i'm blessed with her beauty too, life has been good to me, ha!!

 As for the rainbow . . . i've not been sleeping well, but i cannot recall a day my children have woken me up (i'm not a sloth, they just never wake before 7a.m. even as new born babies, ever, times 4 children, lucky me) . . . so one of my girls treated herself to this for breakfast - the smell from the oven was delicious + a drizzle of chocolate melted properly, she knows how to live & lick a bowl of melted chocolate clean too!!

How is the weather in your hood??  I know it looks like Northern Hemisphere Winter in these shots, but it's actually 30C & i'm reading magazines in a tank top, not snuggled under a cosy blanket.  I'm still taking the children to the local military pool in the rain, we have it all to ourselves - other mums must think swimming in the rain - children might get wet??!!  I have laps to do & children to wear out!!  Love Posie

who said computers are bad for children . . .

Greetings all,

Children using computers aint all bad . . .
when handsome little boys like this . . .
(excuse the fact he's eating, he never stops)

 send you emails like this . . .
"I Love YOU mummy SO SO much LOVE HEART" 
& attach images like this!!

Oh darling 8 year old boy, i love heart you too.  Heaven help any girl who wants to ruin my life & take this boy away from me.  Sure he loves me now . . . but the string of girlfriends from primary school is never ending, it's like he's easing me into it.  Sigh. 
In the meantime, he can have an extra hour on the computer today (balance out 2 hours of swimming).  When i told him, he actually did air first pumps & blew me a kiss.  Giggles, love Posie

i'm grateful for . . . 'reconnecting'

Greetings all,

This time of year is always special for we Army wives . . . we have just moved to a new city or stayed put for the year, either way, we start reuniting & reconnecting with dear old friends, neighbours & school mums after a few postings. 

 In the past week i have met up with one of my favourite mummies from Darwin, her husband has just deployed for Afghanistan; our fantastic old neighbours from Sydney emailed me from Brisbane, they have had twins; my husband's great mate from cadets has moved to Canberra, 27 years of friendship; my darling friend who used to help me cut fabric in the height of my business, rang from Darwin, she just bought a new home; & my darling 3rd girl ALWAYS makes best friends with girls who move interstate or overseas - she's just met up with her 1st grade best friend & when school resumes, her 2nd grade best friend is back from America.  We've also run into other old school friends at the pool.

 While i've been ignoring blogland (sorry, i love you, i'll be back over at your blogs as soon) i've met up with a gorgeous new bunch of bloggers too.  It's always fun to meet people you have had a bloggie relationship with, in the flesh.  My children gasp "oh, not another 'virtual friend' Mum".  Always welcoming when you bump into people in the street (not randomly, but outside the meeting place) & they look at me & the children . . . "you must be Posie".  Hell yeah, you guys are so much fun, in blogs & real life!!

I'll be realistic, not all Army wives are my kind of people.  There are plenty of rough & scary types + the ones who use their husband's rank as some kind of badge of superiority.  Imagine my delight at one particularly awful one dropping the C & F words at a Tupperware party with young children present, yep, she was the demonstrator . . . i am very glad to rid those warthogs from my life.  As i have somehow managed to never attend a single Sergeant's Mess Function (this is highly rare for a Warrant Officer's wife) i tend to make a couple of very good friends each posting & remain in contact with them.  Those ladies know me, i love & adore them, like old school friends, they are not light situational friends, but the real deal & i'm blessed with a dozen of them.  You ladies rock.  I do love not having to start from scratch with 'my story' & they get me, as they're living the same life!!  We've been through cyclones, deployments, childbirth & moves together. 
This week's new KidSpot i'm grateful for 'reconnecting' with some fabulous new/ old ladies in my life, who i have for a couple of borrowed years, i'm so lucky.  Love Posie

my 500th post & the reasons why i blog

Greetings all,
Yay, 500 posts on this modest little blog of mine, thank you all for joining me on this ride.
I blog for different reasons at different times: to share sewing projects; to record children's milestones; to prove to myself i can cook; to play around with decorating ideas; & far too often, to throw up aspects of my daily life to keep my husband up to date with what we're doing, as he's far far away from home.  Sure i could email & send photos privately but he likes the atmosphere of this blog & reading your friendly comments.

 So i'm a 36 year old housewife & mother of 4 children aged 8 to 13, i've spent collectively 6 years (& counting) raising them completely alone, no grandparents on hand to help & most often 4500km from my home town of Sydney.  My husband has missed 12 of our 14 wedding anniversaries so far & we have 2 more years of living apart to go!!  

 Please don't feel sorry for us, we have big plans & a wonderful future together.  I learned to be incredibly independent young mum, trust my choices, rely on myself, i am strict with my children so behaviour is widely predictable & i am a drama-avoider.  It's a lot of work, especially as our children have strong personalities - they do challenge me & since they were tiny babies, they've asked a million questions about anything & everything - my key - i answered them all (6 years of university has been useful afterall).  I have bucket loads of patience.
My cheeky children saw the photo of the barbed wire from my husband's base in Afghanistan & said "you can be honest Mum, is Daddy really in prison??"  If nothing else, we have plenty of laughter!!

 So what is this blog - Army wife??  Large family??  Crafter??  Home maker??  Mummy blogger??  It's a bit of anything & everything as i'm all of those things.  While i ride out the Summer with swollen hands waiting for a thorough diagnosis on my carpal tunnel syndrome & surgery confirmation (from an orthopaedic surgeon, not that moronic neurologist) i am stitching some hexagons together for a quilt top . . .

 along with lots of slow cooking from scratch, it's not a trendy new movement to me, it's how my mother rolled, only she didn't invite children to help her, where i encourage my children to help.  My first born aced non-elective cooking in year 7, so she has mad skills in the kitchen.  I do still have a crappy Army issue oven in our Defence house to cook with, so hardly the dream kitchen. 

 Of course my blog will include more & more action & antics from the children, like our 3rd girl here doing her best Anna Wintour (US Vogue editor) impersonation.  Ok, all of my children need hair cuts but that can wait until first week of school in February, Summer holidays are for swimming & unkept hair. 

Now, what better way to celebrate this bloggie milestone than by heading off to a birthday morning tea with a platter of banana bread, for a gorgeous girl i met through blogs & our love of textiles.  I used a French banana bread recipe as i know she covets provincial flavour & style.  Have a gorgeous day & happy blogging out there everyone, it's the nicest place in social media.  Love Posie

my one word for 2012 will be . . . 'rainbows'

Greetings all,
OK, Maxabella Loves introduced a one word resolution for the year, 'better' & that certainly was my wish for the year, to live better . . . my one word is going to be 'rainbows'.  Now, i'm no giddy bohemian dreamy hippie, however, i do wish for rainbows, what is not to love about a rainbow (unless it comes out after rain has ruined your garden party or washing on the clothes line).   

Love this rainbow at the Gallery of Modern Art in Brisbane!!  Beware, there are guards EVERYWHERE just dying to tell your children off, before they even think to touch anything. 

 After the joy of grocery shopping today in blistering heat, i popped into a gift store & could not believe my eyes, a full rainbow set of mixing bowls with lids!!  Hello Summer picnics.

 Special mention to the Marimekko napkins.  Last week i picked up these plates & bowls in the hope that my children (who do the dishes in school holidays) might be more inspired. 

 Fabulous example of weaving (at GOMA).  I plan a large open space in our homestead entrance, with maybe just a rug or amazing art??  This would be ace. 

Ok, so i love rainbows & after a years of running a small design business, exposed to glorious colours, patterns & textiles, i'm about to put it all on hold & to good use . . . to build a homestead & start a farm for my family.  Trust me, i'll be clutching at rainbows as i deal with real estate agents, architects, tradesmen & hardwarestore-sales-staff-rolling-their-eyes-at-me as i ask a million questions.  I love that it will be my full time job, especially the decorating part & styling each room!! 

Nothing can dull the colour i see, the hope & dreams for a better life for my family.  My husband will be home from war in 6 months, his 5th & final war; we have 4 happy, healthy & hilarious children; we want space & a simple life - best of all, we know how to make it happen & it's happening, yahoo!!  I have more properties to view & we've put our Darwin apartment on the market too.  This is HUGE.  I'm going to love love love 2012. 
Bring on the rainbows i say, to our bright & colourful future.  OMG, this is my 499th post, rainbows to you all in blogland too.  Love Posie

social commentary Sunday . . . 'are you feeling older & losing your cool with every year??'

Greetings all,
Well, what to do a social commentary on??  Annoying ads on television - if you haven't prepaid your own funeral = you're a selfish bastard . . . & The Young Talent Team children are already irritating me.  Driving home from midday Pilates today, P!NK came on the radio, yay, give me some of your kiss-arse-lady-rock to sing my lungs out.  Sorry, what, a power ballard??  Nooo, just because you're a mummy, don't lose your cool Mrs Hart. 
It got me thinking, as my 37th birthday looms, am i actually getting old in the head too, thinking like a fuddy duddy??  I don't even find Hamish & Andy funny anymore, they're immature!!  My clothes are current & i like Top 40 Music (or is it 30, or 20, or iTunes).  I'd consider myself one of the groovier mums at school but being a housewife hardly keeps me up to date with cool words, expressions, technology, hand gestures, busting out the latest moves or cooking with trendy spices - i'm yet to find harissa at the supermarket!!

My children are hip, so atleast i'm not bringing down the next generation.  My husband dresses like a catalogue model (helps with his handsome good looks & physique, but i buy his clothes, oh, i'm a stylist!!) but he's cool, he has a cool stance, a cool job with cool gadgets & cool sayings, he's in the cool gang & is the cool boss.  When we were new at our latest primary school, my twin girls threw an all-class birthday party.  One boy's Mum told me he was so excited to get the invitation from 'the popular girls' & it made me think, are some people just born cool or is cool only reserved for the young??  I used to be cool, i think, frowny face.
Please know i'm not clutching at my youth, i loved being a teen in high school & partied at Uni, i accept it's over - i have zero desire to be my children's 'friend'.  I can't remember the last time i went to a nightclub or danced in public outside of a Zumba class.  I don't drink & my husband is always away, i don't have long term girlfriends to relive-a-well-spent-youth with in Canberra, i'd rather go to craft camp than a club to hang wit ma homies, not a deafening, dark & expensive bar!!  Word.  LOL.      
But i'm really excited, an opportunity to get my cool back on . . . my husband & i have been invited to a wedding in June, yes, that means a) he's home in June, b) first wedding we've been to together in years, c) i get a new frock & d) i get to dance into the night!!  We've been married 15 years, I have to find my social cool again, that includes weight loss & a makeover.  Looking at myself in the mirror at Pilates, i thought, hmmm, i really let myself go, but why beat myself up about it, i'm at the gym, doing something about it. 
Am i alone in this thinking??  With every birthday, do you feel you're getting a bit less current, the cool factor is dipping??  I am happy to be age appropriate, i just have to lose this frump & dowdiness, update my list of interesting topics to discuss.  Can you imagine me opening the table conversation at the wedding reception with a bunch of 20 year olds "hi, i'm a blogger, my blog's about craft, children, i have 4 children, baking & gardening, OMG, this is the first time i've been out at night, in a 5 years".  Wrong demographic??  Now that would be uncool, i know that much.  Giggles, love Posie