20 November 2011

social commentary Sunday . . . 'which role do you play in your circles??'

Greetings all,
Some random images & thoughts.  It's raining, today will be indoorsy: hang out with the children, pack orders from my big on line sale & relax.  Good thing yesterday was outdoorsy: children's sports, Farmer's market, herb gardening, lawn mowing, tyre pumping & bike riding + a lovely dinner with a great gal. 
Talking late into the night about social media, designing, husbands, travel, her baby plans & house renovation . . . i was thinking how i move cities constantly, i'm still friends with girls from pre/ primary/ high school & Uni + military wives from each posting, my design contacts & bloggers . . . i run in many different circles.  Each group has it's drama queens, attention seekers, followers, organisers, loud & quiet ones, bossy alphas & pushovers, sometimes there are power challenges, or everyone is calm, uncompetitive, equal.  I was a leader but i love being on my own too, i don't need to be surrounded.  I was never a bully.  I've never been a friend collector.  
Sometimes i'm the organiser, sometimes happy to follow - especially if i'm a guest in someone else's circle territory, like when the preschool mums invite me to movies & lunch.  They want to talk preschool, my youngest is nearly 8, they don't want to think about high school or fashion or design or decor, i just enjoy the movie & the food.
 At school i remember a lot of gossip would come my way, i'd somehow decipher what was to be shared & what was to die with me.  I was an excellent confidante to those who needed it & conduit to those who wanted publicity.  I had a barometre on what was nasty & private, versus harmless information sharing.  I was always told i was mature for my age & don't ever remember a show down of "OMG, how could you spread that gossip".  I do remember we were 'a nice year' of girls, dozens of us are still great friends.  My sister was 3 years ahead of me at Ravenswood & hated it, mean girls & serious reputation crushing gossip. 
 I still find, in my various circles, that i am the confidante.  In the past months i've had friends, acquintances & on line bloggers tell me about cancer diagnosis, marriage breakdowns, depression, financial crisis & pregnancies.  Poof, i'm so honoured people can be so honest & open, share & sense i'll keep their confidence.  Not sure what vibe i give off, i'm open & private.  I don't realise it happens, but my husband notices complete strangers will share incredible personal details with me.  When you have babies with you, people will spill all about conception, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, poo colour/ consistency/ frequency.  Not sure why, is it the sisterhood of knowing??  Blogging is like this, public posts or emailing in confidence to a blogger you've never met but trust, is a great way to get things off your chest!!  I'll say it again, blogging as therapy!! 
 I am lucky enough to meet lots of people who read my blog, they say "you're just like your blog" which is nice, i'm nothing if not consistent & i think my blog persona is nice too!!  I'm told my blog oozes love, i blog so my husband can see what we're up to & i'm all about love for him!!  I also sit on a lot of confidences, from good news bloggers aren't ready to reveal yet . . . to bad news famous bloggers who are incredibly horrible business people.  My lips are sealed as i'd like to think i'm above the drama, too classy to blog publicly about who has screwed up & thoroughly disappointed me.  I know they know, that is enough.    
So, what role are you playing in your various circles?? Is it the same one from childhood like me?? Love Posie
I also like to share & the randomly selected winner of my latest Mollie Makes magazine giveaway is one super sweet gal Emma from Frog, Goose & Bear blog.  Congratulations!! 


Mum on the Run said...

I think it is such a compliment to have your blog reflect your true 'real life' character.
I would hope that I manage this most of the time.
I guess not trying to be anything in particular is the (obvious)secret.

I have always tended to be the organiser and nurturer in realtionships, communities and friendships.
In recent times, I've tried to take a step back in certain circles because my willingness to give has been taken advantage of.

However, every time I try to give a little less in family situations, I only last a short while!! I'd rather be smothering my nephews with love than waiting for some mythical redressing of the balance that will never come!!!

Happy weekend to you.
I know where to come when I've got a secret burning away!!

Cherry Red Quilter said...

I would say I am an organiser/leader in most of my groups but I have only assumed that role after sitting back first and making sure I am not stepping on any toes. When you belong to social groups people are there because they want to be, not because they have to be. They will only follow your lead if you are leading them somewhere they want to go and that is fine with me. I haven't always been a leader - funny thing is when I joined the military at 19 and became an officer there was noone more shocked than my Mum!

polkadotpeticoat said...

Our roles in life are amazing how they grow and change.....

emma @ frog, goose and bear said...

Different in different circles I think for me. Not deliberate but sometimes particular 'roles' have been taken and I'm happy to step back. I am hopefully always honest and true to self in whatever the situation/group.

I am very excited about winning the giveaway - thanks so much!!!!!

Salley said...

'Loose lips sink ships"

You have a busy role Posie, as confidante to so many.
Very admirable.

Karla {Ironmum Karla} said...

Nice post! I like to think I havent changed over the years, still the one that sits back, takes everything in and then take action.

I think everyone tends to assess the situation dependent on the group and the mood you are feeling on the day!

Mama of 2 boys said...

What a fab post Posie. I can imagine you are in real life, every bit like you come across in your blog. You have an openness and energy that is just simply attractive. I can also completely understand that strangers would talk to you about their most personal issues, because again, you seem approachable.
Wow, you have posed an interesting question. I guess I must be a little like yourself, as I have lots and lots of people tell me about their innermost thoughts and share stories about their personal life at random. I'm not really one to take control of situations, normally happy to sit back and go with the flow, provided the flow isn't going against anything I firmly stand for. I guess because I'm such an organiser in my own home, with friends, I'm kinda happy for them to take the reigns. It's nice not to have to organise people for a change ;o) xo

fee @ chipper nelly said...

Ooh I do hope my blog reflects the real me - I think it does!
I am nearly always being too many things to too many people and worry that my main roles suffer as a result. I have to keep it under constant check as it all gets too much!
I wish I could take a step back...but if I'm honest I'm happier being in control!
happy new week to you...wonder who'll wave at you this week??
fee x

TexWisGirl said...

i flitted amongst every clique in school and was friends with everyone. i feel that way about Blogland too. trying to share some joy and love and push some laughs and beauty out into the world. i receive so much in return. :)

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Brenda @ Mira Narnie said...

oh jennie, i hope one day i get to meet you IRL! the other day hubbie said he might have to head up to Canberra for work - straight away i said we'd join him, as i would love to check out canberra, but i'd also love to meet you! I love your blog, it's one of my fav's and no wonder you get all sorts of people feeling comfortable and confident that you will give no nonsense advice and support. i love the little chats we've had over the year, and really, blogging can be a wonderful extra community! lovely post lovely girl xx