06 November 2011

social commentary Sunday . . . 'the delusion of perfection'

Greetings all,
What is perfection??  My idea is most certainly very different to yours, from one day to the next.  I'm going to see the new SJP movie I Don't Know How She Does It tomorrow, to confirm the delusion of perfection!!  Not buying into the working mother debate, rather that 'perfection' is a dangerous word & idea.  It's quite final, no room for improvement (or breathing space??)  Perfect Wedding/ Dream Home - you're setting yourselves up for failure by not planning for what-might-not-work-out.  What do you do after you've reached perfection/ balance/ goals??  I prefer 'dynamic' & setting goals with a fun path to reach them & changing my concept of the goal accordingly, as i change along the journey too. 
I am noticing many more bloggers revealing their turn at receiving negative comments, often mean, cruel & nasty.  For goodness sake, why can't people just X out of a post on a personal blog they don't agree with . . . 99.99% of us are not professionals or journalists, posting something provocative for damning feedback & reaction!!  We just post about our little take on our world. 
I think about my haters who comment "you think you're so perfect" (regular readers will know my life is far from perfect - mother with Alzheimer's, husband at war, i need carpal tunnel surgery on both hands, i can't explain why i'm terrified of clowns & monkeys, my life is no perfection parade) so . . . just for fun, i'm going to show off just how not perfect i am, for a whole week.  As a super positive & happy person, i think you'll enjoy this ride as much as i will!!  Blogging as therapy anyone?? 
I have plenty of self confidence: it's not obnoxious, i don't have a lot of 'baggage' or dwell on issues.  My husband & i laugh at our harmless failures.  I told him i was going to do this 'week of disasters' & he said "oh, you're not going to do our son's future 21st birthday photo reel of all the black eyes are you??"  No, that will have our son removed from our care!!  I can say, after raising 3 girls, i still have no idea why boys take risks, leaps, jumps, glides & slides, resulting in endless donks on their noggens, perfectly timed with school photos, special events & grandparent visits.  I ain't the perfect mother-of-a-boy, i watch with my jaw open, wondering how to react to him flying through the air!!    
 Perfection: poetry of roses??  These roses were pinched from the neighbours, ooppss!!
 This young man has had the time of his life today - athletics, bike riding & swimming!!  He's only cut his toe.  Then he sat down to play with a game he found in his sister's bedroom & said "i thought dominos were pizzas".  Really, had i raised this boy for almost 8 years & never let him loose on a game of dominos??  Worse, i can't remember, chunks of his life are a blur, as his experiences merge into his sisters'.  Just in case you're wondering, no, i haven't named or dated the new born baby photos (1999-2004) either.  I assume when i get around to it, i'll have extremely clear memories of who is who!!  Should be easy, all born at the same hospital, same obstetrician, same DPH stamped singlets, same skin colouring, same amount of hair & same pastel striped flannel blanket (+ twins on the same day!!)  Totally easy.   
Do you check out the background of people's images on their blogs??  I do.  I like tidy.  I judge messy.  Your turn, judge away, snapshot of Saturday night: boy in swim gear at 9p.m.; bed time is optional as i photograph flowers for my blog (priorities); 2 trees randomly dumped in the centre of our lounge area; underpants waiting to be put away (without asking); Makita drill battery charger on the floor (you know i like a good electrical tripping hazard): i wrapped birthday gifts this afternoon & couldn't possibly have turned around & popped the sticky tape dispenser back on top of the fridge behind me.  Lay-zee. 
Is 'perfection' holding you back from anything??  I think blogging has gotten a tiny bit too serious, let's lighten up & enjoy some imperfections, i'll go first.  Love Posie


Anonymous said...

what is going on with the two trees????

Mr P

Cherry Red Quilter said...

Hear Hear Posie! Let "em have it! I can't believe people write nasty hateful comments - I think my response to them would be "didn't your mother teach you that if you can't say something nice don't say anything?"

Lizzie said...

Hahaha, that's funny Jennie! Yes I totally check out backgrounds on blog photos, just a touch of voyerism I reckon, you know, looking through a lit window on the street at night..!! That's one of the reasons we have more than one child you know, so that you can show them a photo and say "when was this taken..?" ... I have one that always remembers what year it was, where we were etc. As for the baby shots, after the second you just don't have the time to label, date and comment...I had five and do you know how many shots I have of a baby in a blanket....err, hello, which one is this and really, it's not that important in the big picture...happy, healthy, growing, yours.....that's it folks. :o)

Kerryanne English said...

Surely no mother with children could have the perfect house... if they do, it must be a house and not a home!!

I love this saying Jen, 'Please excuse the mess, my children are making happy memories'.
Hugs ~ Kerryanne

emma @ frog, goose and bear said...

I love a bit of imperfection in blogland. It helps us all feel more normal -thanks! I'm all for blogging as therapy as well. So good to find like minded souls out there!
Good luck with the naming of those baby photos........ ;)

The Provincial Homemaker said...

I had to laugh at your baby photos unfiled. We have something similar. We decided we really needed to get our act together before the new baby arrives - the trouble is we had to go back to the start of our marriage putting photos in albums before we could get to Ginger's photos.

Tanya said...

Love this :-). I could fill a whole flipping book with some of the crazy stuff that goes on here! Might have to do a wee post, very therapeutic :-). We definitely have a sense of humor about it all. Xx

Lynley said...

Clowns AND monkeys? Some day you might have to explain that further.

I think 95% of my washing stays folded on the lounge room floor until it's worn again without any intervening cupboards or drawers.

quilary said...

So sad for those poor old 'whingers' who despise happy & positive people. It's really their problem of looking at what they have and thinking they are/have less than you. It is them who need a new outlook on life! More power to the positive people!!!

Mum on the Run said...

Nice work!!!
I'm still reeling that 'haters' would write such things to you - but I've given that negativity enough of my precious head space - so onwards.
Where do I begin exposing my imperfection???? So much choice!
Well, right now my son is eating his breakky alone while I'm on this silly computer for a start!!

You are spot on - aiming for perfection sets us up for failure and disappointment.
Perfection is downright boring anyway.
You go girl!!!!
P.S. I have been known to re-take a shot in order to move the toilet roll/stuffed toy/pair of jocks/filthy surface out of scene!!!

trash said...

I can't get passed the fact that throughout blogland people leave evil comments. I know "public writing. Inviting comment.Blah blah blah" but seriously? Nothing to say then say nothing!

Loving the idea of reality blogging. Also echoing Mr.P's question.

Posie Patchwork said...

Thank you Mr Posie - the trees were on their way to our 3rd daughter's bedroom for a secret forest makeover (remember, i did everyone's room but hers, bad mother). Love Posie

Tania McCartney said...

You don't pretend to be perfect, Posie - you just have confidence and live life with gusto and aren't afraid to talk about your bliss. Happiness cuts some people to the quick, alas - and it's absolutely the unhappy who leave such debasing comments.

I'll never forget a negative comment on my blog by someone telling me I sounded 'smug' that I said my children tried blue cheese... and liked it! I mean - good Lord - get a hobby or something... why bother cruising blogs and leaving such inane comments - save them for the bigger issues!!! Smug over blue cheese? Um, no. Delighted and surprised? Yes.

Keep living and espousing your beautiful life - you inspire so many many people to live life to the full, with love and vitality. Don't let the turkeys get you down.


Mum on the Run said...

Hee hee.
Love that Mr P had to know!

Now you've made me go and write a whole post - with shameful imperfect pics!!
Looking forward to the rest of the week.

TexWisGirl said...

you just let it all hang out. we'll be here laughing along with you - and totally relating to imperfection. :)

willywagtail said...

Cheeky Mr P posing as anonymous. The tidy house pictures versus normal state pictures is a definite poser. I like the idea that we can be encouraged by one another to do that little bit extra by showing a nice background to our blog photos. At the same time it would appear that most people get stressed out and think that only their house/parenting style/food service/etc is the bad one. It's a pity but it would seem that so many of us have inferiority complexes and some to the point of needing to bolster themselves up by being rude. Good on you for showing your down side but be careful of the weklfare people!!! Cherrie
PS I waited for number 1 child to label, sort and catalogue all the photos.

Sally said...

Oh I know! What is it with boys??? My first born can turn ANYTHING into an extreme sport. It has taken me years to get used to it. Now I just try not to look...

Good luck with the photos :)

Chicken Willow said...

Love it!!!

Lois said...

I just don't get haters!! They must be pretty unhappy people in real life to be bothered getting so het-up about other people's stuff!

From one 'perfect person' to another (LOL) I look forward gleefully to this week of posts :)

Amanda said...

I'm with Cherry Red, if You can't say something nice don't say anything. Roll on an imperfect week, but I love your positive stuff too.

Cherie @ 'a baby called Max' said...

Oh, I love this! And this is why I love you, & your blog.

We see tiny little snippets of people's lives throughout the blogosphere, & to judge based on snippets is just so narrow minded.

When I don't like something, I click away, simple.

When I do, I keep coming back for more.

I love the tiny snippet I see of your mothering style. It is a snippet yes, but it does speak volumes.

Nobody is perfect, nobody :) and that's a good thing. What a boring world it would be?!

My favourite part of this post was actually the journalist comment. So. Very. True! A fantastic example too.

Keep being you, & dear god I wish people would take a Bambi approach to commenting on blogs. You know the one?

If you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all?

Disney were spot. on!

ally said...

My favourite part about the pizza - the shame!!!!
Keeping it real is much more fun than trying to make it perfect :-)

Posie Patchwork said...

Even better about the Dominos pizza comment, this boy doesn't even like pizza!! Love Posie

special 'k' said...

I do not understand why they bother to comment at all. Have a great day! Cheers SpecialK xx

themodernparent said...

Love this Posie, and whilst I don't think you needed to prove to anyone that you have imperfections, I do love the idea of you sharing them. I think people do like to read of people's faults but that shouldn't stop bloggers writing about the good stuff in their lives or the things they do well. X

Maxabella said...

Oh I've never though for a second that perfection exists. To be honest, I've always felt a bit sorry for the anal types. Striving for 'perfect' is just so dull!!! x

Tas said...

I know that I am setting myself up for a fall but I haven't had any negative comments yet. I know when I do that I will vascillate between sleepless nights worrying about what some complete stranger thinks of me vs thinking "Naff off and go get a life, you loser. Really? You have nothing better to do?"

I do know that there can be some not so nice stuff happening in blogland but that's true for the whole world. We all need to lighten up, for sure.

This should be a fun week, Jen ;) Show us your toilet.

Tas said...

PS Oh, and I usually have a bit of a look at the background of my photos in case there is someone out there checking them out...now I know that it is a worthwhile exercise lol.

Brenda @ Mira Narnie said...

how did i miss this - perhaps i was too busy being unperfect myself - gee's i love this post!!! you seriously are in inspiration to me in lots of ways Jennie!!! well done for getting this stuff out there - yay for more REALfection and less PERfection!!!!


Posie Patchwork said...

Thanks for your support everyone, i had a blast this week, extremely liberating & fun. Love Posie