16 October 2011

social commentary Sunday . . . 'are you being the best you??'

Greetings all,
Thank you for the kind comments on yesterday's post.  Farewelling my handsome soldier off to war never gets any easier, i miss him like crazy.  I have been madly in love with this man for half my life, he is a huge part of who i am.  Every deployment i've had a little pal (or 4) with me, so children are a welcome distraction + i focus on sewing projects.  I have to keep busy, positive & active, it's healthy.  When he calls, i have interesting things to say, not just fall to pieces that he's in the most dangerous place on earth & i'm worried. 
Today we wrap up the school holidays, a good time to check 'myself'.  This past fortnight i was driven to Spring clean.  I'm alone with my thoughts while doing housework.  I think about how our children are constantly changing, growing, plotting . . . then i realise, so am i, especially the plotting (my escape from suburbia).  I'm a fair version of my best self, i just know i'll be better when living in our homestead on a farm, with my husband by my side!!
I recently ordered the Dottie Angel book from Lark & have been devouring the life & craft of Tif Fussell.  Dottie Angel is her alter ego, like Posie is mine.  Tif & i have plenty in common (i say that like we had afternoon tea yesterday) . . . we're both 4th borns; raised in loving creative families with English mummies; married our teen love; had 4 children in our 20s; live & breath craft + vintage ways; moved around to different cities & . . . her story continues with her family settling in America & more recently - finding the house which felt right for her clan, craft & calm.  I believe Tif is being the best 'Tif' she can be!!  I'm inspired.
 I want to be where she is now, in a space that feels . . . right.  I have it in my head, it's beautiful, i look great in my craft cottage & my husband is cooking up a storm in the kitchen.  We know where & how we want to live.  Good GOD we even have the finances!!  Next year we'll turn 'actively looking' for property into 'where do we sign'.  Soon enough i'll be 'all i can be' & living the dream.  I'm patient but i'm plotting. 
 In the meantime . . . i don't want to put myself on hold, just because my husband is away & i dislike our current residence . . . we are lucky to have a safe roof over our heads.  I want to be organised & make Christmas a breeze.  That is not easy with mum's Alzheimer's & my darling father's angst - oh, my mummy doesn't know who i am anymore - i can't quite digest this right now.  'tis hard to be serene with all this going on. 
I want to be kind to myself, treat myself with a movie, a massage & sewing for myself!!  That will make me a better me, wife & mother.  Spoiled??  I have done the hard yards of solo parenting for a dozen years, i did it really well, now i need a little nurturing, mind, body & soul.
Our small garden needs love.  Fom one snapshot you can see the rooves of 3 houses, ick.  I look up to the blue sky & dream of not being able to see any neighbours.  3 postings ago we were a family of 6 living in Inner City Sydney in a 3 bedroom townhouse & a tiny paved courtyard.  We made it work, we always do.  I just know i'll be better with s p a c e.     
Where are you at on your journey to being the best you??  Work in progress??  Waiting for the next stage in your life, like me??  Feeling stuck??  Love Posie


Cherry Red Quilter said...

It is so good that you know wwhere you need to be and are actively working towards it. That has got to be good for your husband too when he is away. My husband is also away a lot, absolutely not in the same conditions as yours, but even he says that it gives him great peace of mind to know that I am here, on tap, to handle whatever needs to be handled in his absence leaving him free to do what he needs to do. I imagine it works the same for your handsome soldier. Therefore you are just doing your duty pampering yourself as you need to be at the top of your game so that everyone else can function! Pamper away and I look forward to hearing the tales of Posie gone bush, or Posie on acerage or however your future life on the land can be best described when you have found your slice of heaven.

Anne said...

Hey Posie
We're working towards a big change. After working the family properties for 35 years since leaving school, husband is ready for a huge change. Starting mid-2012 (after sorting LOTS of things out here), we are going 'on the road' to work and travel. Window of opportunity between last child leaving to study interstate and no grandchildren on the horizon for at least a few years, we decided that we would 'just do it'!
At 51 and 48, we're prepared to work at whatever comes along and see the country, also to find out if there's something else out there just made for us. It's a slightly scary but very exciting time ahead for both of us but I have to say I really can't wait to get going.
Also I've decided to start a blog as I'm sure otherwise I'll forget what happens along the way and it will be a great way to keep family and friends up to date on where we are and what we're doing.

librarygirl said...

Hi Posie, thank you for the sweet birthday wishes for my boy yesterday!
What a lovely blog you have - another one for me to investigate properly - have a lovely rest-of-the-weekend


LionessLady said...

Posie - you are doing so well on your pathway to being the best you you can be, especially given some of the challenges you face and tackle head on with such positivity! I think you are already being the best you!

Anonymous said...

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supermac said...

Dear Posie,
You absolutely deserve huge amounts of self-nurturing <3

For me, self-sacrifice and deprivation are motherhood traps that I avoid-- it's good once in a while but not as a way of life or it will blow up in our faces (and into the people we do the sacrifices for) big time. I take care of myself well so I can also take care of the people I love the best I could ;-)

I can't imagine how difficult it is to be a soldier's wife. I really have the utmost respect for you and your husband.


TexWisGirl said...

sweet pea, i do hope this year goes by with productive planning/scheming/plotting to realize your dream!!!

Sue H @ Astrachic Studio said...

Hi Jennie (Sweet Posie)
You are the best that you can be.
Your wishes will all come in time.
Hang on to the happy carefree days.
Enjoy your 4 who will grow up too fast! Just take time just to be for a bit.
We have moved back to Darwin in July after going back to holidays and getting new jobs.
Soon the home in SA will be sold and with any luck we will find something we love just as much here.
Our middle daughter has just got married! See some pics on my blog.
Great family time.
Thinking of you, your hubby, your family and sending xo
Astrachic Studio

Mum on the Run said...

You are a wise woman - and amazing too.
You have certainly put in the hard yards and deserve more than your moment in the sun.
I look forward to seeing your dreams realised and your hard work rewarded - which of course it already is in your gorgeous children.

I'm not my best me - but I'm damn closer to it than I was ten years ago and even two years ago.
Definitely a work in progress here.
But isn't that what life is about?

Amy said...

Oh Jennie, I wish I could give you a great big hug right now!

I am dreaming of being the best me I can be. Right now my hubby and I are working on aligning our dreams so that we can both be happy with where our life is headed, but at the moment we are at a standstill due to money and time. But really at 25 and 26 yrs of age we have to be happy with where we are. We have three gorgeous kids and a house we built too.

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Oh your posts are always so inspiring. So inspiring that I often forget to comment as I'm to busy musing, reflecting and often acting on what you've said.

Sounds like you've got it all just right x

Tania McCartney said...

Beautiful, love. Half the joy is in the journey and you have journeyed so far already. The cottage is in sight! Me - I am opening my life for more - more love, more experience, more travel, more opportunity - more contentment. Amazing when you make the head and life space to do this - because it's flooding in already!

tinajo said...

Strategies are good, hugs to you!

fee @ chipper nelly said...

Hey - interesting post!
Like the idea of being the best you...
We now have my Mum living below us (in converted cellar) which has taken some adapting to - but fear not, I know how lucky I am. It does mean that, whilst she's with us, we can never move. Unless we pop 'built in Granny' to the house particulars!
Anyway - I quite like the feeling - it's good to feel settled. One day, when the boys have left the nest, we'll move to the country, but until then I'm embracing suburbia!
Have a happy week,
fee x

Anna Bartlett said...

You're a bit inspiring, you know. I was not a 'supportive wife' by any stretch when my husband went to Afganistan, etc, and truly admire those who are. He's a very lucky man and I love reading about your path to your dream home and lifestyle. Keep smiling, Posie.

ally said...

I've been thinking about this
About who the best me might be (and who might be the best judge of this)
My happiest me is not that far away from here but I'm not even close to being the best wife and housewife I know I could be.
Hmmmm...more to ponder on
I like your Sunday posts

Magi said...

The best me? Sometimes it’s a matter of making sure I have the right perspective in what I am doing, at the moment that would primarily be parenting. All in all definitely I’m definitely a WIP, but I am happy to be in that state and hope that I am a WIP until the very end. And though I am wondering about the next stage in life, I want to make sure I make the very best of this stage. This is the only time I will have four small children, still be physically and emotionally capable to care for them and thankfully have the time to do so. I don’t want to ever feel stuck, when I do, I try to downscale my goals so I still feel like I am moving forward (e.g. instead of aiming for a career change that isn’t moving I may just make a batch of brownies or learn a new skill). Sometimes things do feel a bit hard and I wish I could just google an answer.

Veronica @ Mixed Gems said...

I'm at the stage of living my life a day at a time with my young family. So I've got some direction, short-term projects and priorities, slightly longer term things to consider eg: where we'll live and schooling. But I'm not sure about the long-term. I always feel there's something out there I've yet to put my finger on that will bring me real joy, aside from my family. Just not sure what or how to find it yet.