Greetings all,
I love perfection, it's . . . perfect. However, the things i find perfect are . . . a blooming fragrant rose (nature), correct spelling (academics), fingerprintless windows (cleanliness) . . . tangible objects, 100% achievable, realistic pursuits. I believe a dessert chef can ice a cake to perfection, a lawyer try the perfect case & an athlete run the perfect race. So why are we consumed by 'the perfect mother'?? Exactly what is the job description?? Ask your children who is the perfect mother, pretty sure they'll say "you mummy"!! They don't know human beings are flawed, they just love you despite your hiccups.
I love perfection, it's . . . perfect. However, the things i find perfect are . . . a blooming fragrant rose (nature), correct spelling (academics), fingerprintless windows (cleanliness) . . . tangible objects, 100% achievable, realistic pursuits. I believe a dessert chef can ice a cake to perfection, a lawyer try the perfect case & an athlete run the perfect race. So why are we consumed by 'the perfect mother'?? Exactly what is the job description?? Ask your children who is the perfect mother, pretty sure they'll say "you mummy"!! They don't know human beings are flawed, they just love you despite your hiccups.
I was thinking about this perfect mother myth while i was baking cookies tonight. Lovely Magi's post on ToffeeAppleMama blog was playing on my mind . . . she used the perfect mother reference (Magi is a wholesome & dedicated mama of four who tries as hard as me to make for a lovely happy family life.) I baked over 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies - the last four warranted their own baking tray. When they came out i said to the children, "look, these cookies are perfect" & they were in every way - cooked through, crunchy on the outside, gooey on the inside, the oven was at the right temperature, on their own spacious tray, they had every chance to be the best damn cookies they could be. But . . . an uber healthy mum wouldn't consider them perfect (sugar, butter, chocolate), the Country Women's Association could bake neater cookies & if they were rolled properly/ equally/ perfectly as Donna Hay's recipe reads, it would have been 2 dozen cookies, on 2 trays.
My point is, they were perfect to me, as i made them with love for my children's lunch boxes when they resume school tomorrow; i slotted them into an afternoon of mowing lawns, cooking lasagne - sharing the heat of the oven; & ironing uniforms. Effort, taste & execution, 10/10.
Now i'm no literary scholar & i feel my cookie analogy isn't flowing as poetically as it did in my head in the oven . . . but this whole perfect mother thing, who exactly are we comparing ourselves with or trying to impress?? Please don't say a celebrity mother. Or the mum at the school gate/ park/ swimming lesson next to you. Mother, remember, you got that title by having your children & their opinion is the only one that matters!! Everyone leads different lives, better, worst, happy, sad, richer, poorer. It's all relative, it changes constantly, you have every chance to be a winner in this mothering game, it's dynamic & some days you make triumphant cookies, other days you miss a child's concert. There is alway time to pick up your game when things are rocky, or ease off when things are smooth.
Now i'm no literary scholar & i feel my cookie analogy isn't flowing as poetically as it did in my head in the oven . . . but this whole perfect mother thing, who exactly are we comparing ourselves with or trying to impress?? Please don't say a celebrity mother. Or the mum at the school gate/ park/ swimming lesson next to you. Mother, remember, you got that title by having your children & their opinion is the only one that matters!! Everyone leads different lives, better, worst, happy, sad, richer, poorer. It's all relative, it changes constantly, you have every chance to be a winner in this mothering game, it's dynamic & some days you make triumphant cookies, other days you miss a child's concert. There is alway time to pick up your game when things are rocky, or ease off when things are smooth.
I am the perfect mother to my own children. I give them what they need in everything i do from the conversations we have on school runs (an independent mother would have them catch the bus), the way i run their forgotten lunch/ sneakers/ projects up to school in the middle of the day (a hard mummy would make them learn their lesson) & discipline with a home schedule (a hippie mama would let days unfold organically). Sometimes i'm 1 step ahead of my children & all over their next stage . . . sometimes i'm 2 steps behind & not ready for their new attitude, academic level, what their friends are allowed to do/ say/ watch/ go. I am the perfect mother to my own children as i never give up trying. Love Posie
