social commentary Sunday . . . 'passive aggressive women are ugly'

Greetings all,

Guess what, this is my 650th post so i thought i'd make a beauty of a social commentary - a topic which makes my blood boil.  I detest manipulative women.  We all know egomaniacal go-getters who are insecure & have to push you down to elevate themselves . . . they might even live in your family . . . passive aggression is a nasty trait.  Sometimes they're so smooth, you don't even realise it's happening until it plagues your thoughts . . . their toxic venom, side comments, looks of distain, hostile/ undermining/ exclusive/ obstructional behaviour . . . their psychic talons haunt your weekends.  They destroy your confidence to elevate their worth, subtly digging away at you with their pathological negativity.  

Please don't confuse this with healthy aggression - women in business or social circles who are positively confident, tenacious & determined - men often consider them bitches, because they're more capable & threatening - however, they tell you exactly what they think, they're up front & confront issues with a clear conscious & reason, not behind your back with 'yes-men' cronies, ripping the rug from under your feet.  Often they are the best bosses & greatest friends, consistent & genuine to the core . . . the perfect person to ask for an honest opinion. 

If you have the guts to stand up to a passive aggressor, they are often afraid of confrontation, however, instead of backing down & apologising, oh no, the petulant child inside erupts & they create a twisted web of lies to counteract & confuse you.  They may have 'learned helplessness' & play the victim role, as hostile 'jokes' roll off their stubborn tongues.  Negativity abounds.  If you shine above them with success, you might score a back handed compliment, little else.  I've never met a passive aggressor who was self deprecating or able to relax, their interpersonal skills are resistant to light hearted fun.  Watch as they exclude you from a meeting yet steal your ideas as their own & lap up the praise - if you demand "but that was my idea" watch them switch on the charm offensive with the old patronising "we're all part of the same team" as they trot off to a celebratory dinner, without you.  If you leave, some other schmuck will take your place & be sucked dry too.  It's a parasitic cycle.
Ok, so what has got this housewife all riled up about passive aggression?? . . . besides my experience from my short career in the oil industry, being a member of various P&C committees + part time jobs in retail, telecommunications, customer service & banking while i was at University . . . oh SO many examples of passive aggression female team managers there.  Yes i've had some great female bosses & colleagues too.  I loved each job, including gift wrapping wedding presents for 3 years at a department store - i did it beautifully with pride until a new floor manager tried to set a standard (without any experience, she just wanted to be seen making changes) even though my method was more efficient & economical, offering a variety of wrapped gorgeousness for a display of wedding gifts en masse for each happy couple . . . kapow, i was kicked out of the wrapping room & da dah, brides starting complaining about the new boring wrapping quality.  Humph.  Time to leave, i was 21 & didn't need her drama - once you start dreading going to a job you once loved because of the boss, there's not a lot which can fix that feeling.  

Last week a friend of mine who is highly professional & respected in her industry, got a huge public passive aggressive slap in the face at a small-local-industry-related-event.  Keep in mind that guest lists are printed with the event information & it's an industry where everybody checks out who is coming in advance (read: no excuses) . . . a colleague/ competitor was chatting in a circle, which included my friend, then did the "what's your name again??" for everyone to hear.  Purely to humiliate & push her down, she knew full well who she was - they'd met at SEVERAL small-local-industry-related-events previously (& recently) including one of her own launches!!  My friend was extremely embarrassed & deflated, way to make you feel like a nobody in your industry.  Thing is, she doesn't even like this other woman, she's a 'braggart' who takes everything you say & has to up you, to appear more special & wonderful, she just happened to be included in this networking social circle at a break during the event, unavoidable.  It's beyond awkward, it's down right rude & inexcusable!!

I have had enough of these passive aggressive types, who live to put you down to elevate themselves.  If "what's your name again??" happens to me . . . i think i'll shoot back "gosh you have a bad memory, we've met several times!!" putting them on the back foot, shock them, they don't like confrontation or a dose of their own medicine.  It might take all the guts you have, you might shake & want to run away . . . it's time to turn the tables on these passive aggressive women, bravely shut them down & end the cycle, setting a wonderful positive example to our daughters!!  We need to stop them hurting us.  Their issues do not deserve to be given a second thought in our beautiful minds.  Love Posie