12 August 2012
social commentary Sunday . . . 'sex explosion - like it's new or something'
Sex sells, we get it!! Sex is plastered all over advertising, media, lyrics & television shows, for our children to see & ask wonderful peak hour traffic questions like "do you want longer lasting sex too, Mum??" as you pass those erectile dysfunction billboards. Um, why are they Ok?? Surely if you were suffering from penile flaccidity, you'd go home & google help, not need a giant public announcement to prompt you?? I explain the science to my children, then the old "this is not for discussion outside the family" so they don't repeat it for Show&Tell with their class. I posted on this topic 2 years ago here, now i have a teenager & trust me folks, there is always some misinformed child in the playground with older siblings talking about sex, incorrectly, i'd just rather my children know the facts!! I also believe sex education is VERY different to sexual relationship information. Not sure if sex reference laws have been relaxed in the media, but everyone seems to be carrying on like sex is a new fad!!
Olympic Poster of the Day: Paris France 1924.
Olympic Message: celebrate athletes in their finest physical form, 1920's muscle-porn-style.
I've just spent the last week flat on my back with a cold, unable to kiss & breath at the same time, it's been a below-average-sex-week in our boudoir. This morning i leapt out from under the covers giggling to my husband "get your naked penis away from me" only to find our middle daughter standing at the end of our bed saying "that was awkward, next time i'll knock!!" I was gasping for air in a coughing fit, fully pyjama'ed. Anyway, i've been watching the evening Olympics suffering the commentary on channel 9 (FYI Channel 9 Olympics Coverage Sucks on Facebook has 28000 'likes'.) Many low points . . . including a male commentator joking that our female swimmers were reading 50 Shades of Grey to help them sleep. Female swimmers are mostly teenagers - is this where they are getting sexual relationship information from?? Sexual innuendo during swimming commentary is repulsive. The only juices that book evokes . . . is my vomit reflex & it doesn't need any more publicity, especially not to children watching Olympic swimming. A book with questionable ethics, sexual practises, weak female characters & men with the power??
I've been catching up on blog reading & have noticed plenty of anti 50 Shades of Grey book reviews & bloggers wishing they could get their wasted-reading-hours back. I had a hunch the book would suck & avoided it . . . one woman's erotic literature is very unlikely to be mine. Accidental Housewife wrote a fabulously damning review here. While i'm no prude, when you marry your teen love, your list of sexual partners is low, my children have already asked me how many people i've had sex with & how many dates i went on with Daddy before i slept with him . . . prompted by some subconscious message in the universe i can't control. When my first born was 2 she asked HOW did those twins get in my belly, so i knew i was going to have to approach sex talk with my children, honestly & openly. FYI i did not explain penetrative sex to a toddler, instead the sperm & egg version, which she thought sounded like cooking, excellent!! I figure, sex is fun, it's how we made our children, it shouldn't be a taboo, mysterious OR naughty topic when they ask about it. Gawd, if you want to encourage promiscuity - miseducate your daughters about sex so they find out the hard way - which rarely benefits them or their reputation.
This leads me to boys & porn. Seriously parents, talk about sex & relationships to your sons, do you really want them learning how to treat a girl from porn movies?? I honestly believe, as my daughters get older, i'll be doing damage control & telling them what is not Ok, you can say NO; as opposed to all the fun, good, healthy things about sex. Children need real accounts of sexual relationships - from an adult they respect - not a book, your church, their peers or porn media. My eldest asked me a sex related question the other day & i answered the same way i would any intelligent person, then asked her if she understood & if it was awkward. She replied "Mum, you're so open, there are no awkward moments with you!!" I'd rather her hear it from me than misinformed peers, or both, so she can form her own balanced opinion.
I'm done with prime time shows like How I Met Your Mother & The Big Bang Theory as they are so over-the-top saturated with sex & how-to-bag-a-girl . . . the message it's sending the big ears on our little children is all wrong. Especially our daughters!! Ok so it's a balance/ warning & conversation starter, i actually appreciate that my children are comfortable enough to ask what some thinly veiled innuendo means - often i respond with "it's about sex, not appropriate for your age" & by not making a fuss, they don't either.
Are you comfortable about discussing sex with your own children?? What do you say when "football players have group sex with girl" comes up on the news, or the horror of pedophiles?? Clearly it's all very uninvited to our lives, but it's there & we need to cope with it & arm our children to make healthy positive choices. Love Posie