28 April 2012

oh boy can i cry, like a river

Greetings all,
Oh boy, i hold back on my personal battles on this blog, as i'm such an optimist & positive to the core, so i only mention my mother's Alzheimer's occasionally & how much i miss my husband . . . but today i've just let it all out . . . crying is soul medicine for me.  I feel like i've cried all day.  ANZAC Day is brutal for a wife while her husband is actually in a war zone, my Godfather passed away last week (a highly decorated Naval Commander) & now, i have a sick little chicken . . . . crescendo of heartbreak is one crushed daughter to console.     
Sure we want to have a farm & eat our animals, however, this is a tiny baby chicken who suddenly stopped thriving & is now weak, not eating or drinking, it's so unfair.  But as we've sat by the coop all day, in tears (this chicken has let me pour out all the pent up worry & sadness about missing my husband, my elderly parents, my darling Godfather) we've watched the most beautiful display of love & affection from our other chicken, who is so strong & healthy, chirp/ snuggle/ caress & watch over the sick one.  That my friends is mother nature at her best.  So while we are keeping the little chicken warm & hopefully comfortable, as her breathing is laboured & strength diminishing rapidly, we hope she goes peacefully.  I know, over a chicken, but she worked her way into our hearts & is letting me release so much tension, i'll be forever grateful for the tiny part of her life she shared with us.  Love Posie

43 comments:

trudi@maudeandme said...

What a tough week you have had. Sending positive thoughts your way.
xx

Felicity said...

Soul medicine indeed Jennie - sending a warmhearted hug from afar. xx

Bron said...

Oh you sound so sad....take care and there is nothing wrong at all with a good cry. Hope the morning brings a little sunshine into your windows. xx

Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

Oh Posie, it's the angst over the little things that trigger the emotions and memories for the bigger things.

I was at a shopping centre on the Gold Coast today, doing my normal grocery shop, wondering if I could squeeze in a movie afterwards while the baby slept. Baby had a spazz, so I went home. Found out later, 2 people got SHOT near the cinemas. One a bikie. One an innocent bystander.

My 4 year old and mum had also been shopping there all afternoon too. Never have I loved my babies more than today.

Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

Oh Posie, it's the angst over the little things that trigger the emotions and memories for the bigger things.

I was at a shopping centre on the Gold Coast today, doing my normal grocery shop, wondering if I could squeeze in a movie afterwards while the baby slept. Baby had a spazz, so I went home. Found out later, 2 people got SHOT near the cinemas. One a bikie. One an innocent bystander.

My 4 year old and mum had also been shopping there all afternoon too. Never have I loved my babies more than today.

LatteJunkie said...

My hugs and thoughts are with you. I am so sorry about the little chook but also glad that you get to release your tension.

xx

Amanda said...

Sending you a big hug!! You do so well with your husband away, I'd fall to pieces, you're always so strong and capable and confident and a wonderful Mum both to your children and your chickens.

Hope poor little chick doesn't suffer too much :(

Mum on the Run said...

Oh Posie, your poor little chick.
But moreso, your poor little heart.
I'm glad that you have let yourself feel, cry, wallow, vent,release... - but my heart goes out to you.
I can't even imagine how hard this week has been for you.
I hope you feel so much better after a good outpouring.
xxxxx

Christina Lowry said...

Oh, I hear your heartbreak and I can only offer my condolences to you and your family on all that is weighing so heavily on your heart. May those tears have been the release you needed to help you cope.

Poor little chick and your poor daughter. No, these things aren't fair.

Take care. xx

brismod said...

That is such an incredibly sad post...there is so much going on in your life. Sending you a big warm hug...I hope better days are around the corner. xx

Kate said...

Oh man, sometimes it all just gets too tough.
Be good to yourself Miss Jennie, that is some serious stuff you've got going on. I think a good cry is often the best medicine. x

Shelley said...

Sending you much love. I hope that you are feeling much better for having letting it out. I always sleep so well after a good cry. I hope you do too. xx

The Accidental Housewife said...

Sometimes a good cry is like a thunderstorm - everything looks a bit more clear and fresh afterwards! It can do wonders.

I remember curling up in a ball, bawling, in the kitchen one night while Mr A was away. It was our first wedding anniversay and I'd just put our baby to bed, alone again, and he wasn't due home for another five months. I felt better after a good sob.

Thinking of you...

Vanessa said...

You've given me goosebumps. I know the feeling when something relatively insignificant comes along and takes your emotions by surprise. And of course, it isn't insignificant, particularly when it's letting you work through what's on your mind. I'm sorry to say that I've never thought about ANZAC Day from your point of view, and of course countless others, and I just can't imagine what it's like for you year in year out.

My comment doesn't read as very much, but I just wanted to drop by and say hello.

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh ladies, i just sobbed my way through a Miley Cyrus movie, with my girls all snuggled into me (the boy watched The Simpsons alone) & to come back to these comments just warms my heart, thank you so much. You get me, this little chicken has been amazing therapy, love Posie

Sarah@Dolls And Daydreams said...

Oh my goodness .. I wish I could give you a big cuddle :( so so sorry for you Big hugs from across the pond xxx

Leonie said...

Hugs to you , your daughter and the little chick.
I agree, crying is so cathartic...and necessary.
xx

Jan-Maree said...

Oh poor Jennie and poor kids. Sorry to hear about your godfather - and then that poor little chick. A hard thing for your kids to watch given how much you have all enjoyed the babies. That is sad news - thinking of you.

Michelle said...

It's better out than in, let it out and you'll feel better I promise. Sending healing thoughts your way x

SportyMummy said...

I so admire and respect those parents who need to parent alone for long stretches of time...I think you are all amazing.

Miss Rosie said...

As I often say, Be kind to others, you know not what battles they fight in silence.

Wish you loads of thoughts and support. Sorry about your mother, Deepest sympathies for your Godfather. And Thanks for your Husband.

Joyful Things said...

Crying is good. Often the load just gets too heavy and we need to let a tiny crack open to release some of the pressure rather explode into a million pieces. Life is not always easy, as you know, but what is that saying? something like 'that which does not kill you will only make you stronger' Crappy days make us appreciate the good days just a little bit more. Keep smiling my friend.

TexWisGirl said...

i am so sorry. and it is true - that tiny chicken has let your soul pour out so much pain...

polkadotpeticoat said...

Oh Posie there is nothing better than a good cry...it clears the mind and frees the heart....big hug to you and the little chick!

I just went to someones house last week and held a baby chick and I can see where one would get attached!

fee @ chipper nelly said...

OOOh Jennie - sending you a lovely big hug. And I've eaten my body weight in bad carbs recently (regularly) so it will be a particularly squashy bosomed hug.
we've had our fair share of the circle of life round these parts this year! never easy. But glad your little family unit is OK - and a good cry is always good for the soul. I know the struggle with your Mum is ongoing and heart breaking. And your own children keep you smiling! (mostly!)
fee x

Nancy said...

Sometimes it is just one more thing that puts us over the edge. And for so long we hold ourselves together for the sake of others - especially when we have to function as single parents. It's tough to do it all alone. And a small tragedy that can be the thing that tips the balance. But it is good to cry - to be human and to allow others to comfort us. While you seem a bit like me - unable to tolerate moaning and groaning - especially in ourselves - there comes a point when the load is too heavy. When it comes and you cry like you did - it is a release. And perhaps reminds us that we too are human...

CHD said...

Sending a virtual hug. I hope tomorrow you will feel better, but you are right, there is nothing like a good cry. Usually when I start, I don't stop all day. Cx

Kirsty@Bonjour said...

I'm sorry you've had such a hard week - thinking of you and sending happy thoughts all the way from here x

Coal Valley View said...

Oh no! That is the saddest chain of events, any one of which would rattle the best of us and losing your Godfather too. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're doing a fabulous job, your kids and husband must be so so proud. Big Hugs xx

Lilli boo said...

Wow Posie, I love your honesty,. I've always believed a good cry is good for the soul too, a cleanse. It's when all those pent up emotions come to the surface and then bubble over, however you'll feel so much better for it. Lighter, relieved and lots of hugs. I hope the rest of your weekend feels freer... bless those chickens... x

Anonymous said...

Can I simply say what a reduction to search out someone who really is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know the right way to carry a problem to light and make it important. More people need to learn this and understand this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre no more standard because you positively have the gift.

Posie Patchwork said...

Whatever Anonymous is trying to say, i'll take it. Little chickety chick passed away before we went to bed last night, it was tough, more tears flowed but it was also a relief, as she was as light as a feather.
Thanks for your amazing support, i know, over a chicken, but i have that cried-all-day-&-night headache today, off for a long shower, shopping then a children's party, so time to pull myself together. Love Posie

supermac said...

Oh, Posie. Love and tight hugs.

Michelle said...

Posie, my heart aches for you right now xxx

Amanda said...

Have a good cry, it is good for the soul to just let it all out. Hugs

Tania McCartney said...

Hello darling one - I'm two hours from Canberra; will email you. X

designed to a T said...

Jennie you are the first person I think of on Anzac Day. Sorry to hear all the other troubles have been heaped on you around the same time. It's good to let go every now and then. You are so strong, and even strong people need to just let it happen some days....Chin up...T

Tas said...

Oh Jen :(
Thinking of you and your little chick and all that you are going through at the moment.
x

Thea said...

Love and hugs to you Jennie. I was thinking of you on Anzac Day. xx

Seaweed and Raine said...

Sometimes animals bring out the "real" sides of us that we keep well hidden - and sometimes they bring out the best in us. I hope your little chick actually recovers. AND that your hubby will be home soon.

Amy said...

Love to you Jennie x

emma @ frog, goose and bear said...

Tried to comment on this last night, but my phone wouldn't let me for some reason! Sometimes a good cry really is the best medicine. Always think of you on Anzac Day. emma
p.s. sorry to hear the chick didn't make it :(

Jane said...

Oh Jennie, you gorgeous girl. I mentioned you in my Anzac Day post - you have been so much in my thoughts in recent weeks. So sorry to hear all that's going on. Give me a call, Sweetheart. J x