30 October 2011

social commentary Sunday . . . 'our 2 year plan??'

Greetings all,
I am floundering.  My carpal tunnel ridden hands can no longer grasp things - i've gone down hill very fast - surgery is looming.  I type with flat hands & scoop things up to hold them.  Lately, i can only manage the basics . . . constantly dropping cutlery, keys & phones along the way . . . i have no sense of my grip.  Strange thing is, i'm Ok with this, my husband says i sound happy & relaxed.  I can't sew or design, so i'm taking a break with focus on our 2 year plan: finding a block in the country & building a homestead; getting my husband back home from Afghanistan/ then Brisbane; & having 3 children in high school.  Will i want to go back to designing??  Of course, it's my passion, but i will do business differently.      
We have a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy on where my children find flowers in da 'hood.  I'm glad to accept flowers from anyone, anytime, anywhere.  Sorry neighbours!! 
I'm still inspired to design, but at my age - how often do you hear of someone discovering cancer/ husband leaving them/ a child has an issue??  I don't want to take my eye off the ball, especially with teenagers.  My hands are my little nudge to make changes, mind, body, soul & work on our family's future. 

I've realised i'm a rare demographic, the housewife private high school mum without plans to resume the workforce, regardless of qualifications & options.  My husband is a soldier, not highly paid, we've just been sensible with our deployment money & property investments.  When my husband goes to war, we make plans for every scenario, horrible but necessary.  Days like today - we discover on the news that 3 soldiers have been killed & 7 wounded in Afghanistan, where my husband is right now, i cling to our plans & focus on the future, lucky we have one.  I hear the news as quickly as you do, when incidents happen, there is a total communications block, my husband can't contact me.  Yes we have planned how i would be told if something happens to him.  Simply the most awful conversation you'll ever have with your beloved husband. 
War is completely different now to how it was 12 years ago - he would call once a fortnight between patrols, now he can email, Skype & phone almost daily.  We are both using the farm dream as a healthy distraction - sending links to properties back & forth, ideas, plans for a pool & a pony.  We are forced into breaking up our life into '2 year plans' to match our postings to different cities (my husband posted to Brisbane on his own 2 years ago, we stayed in Canberra for a smooth transition to high school) & he still has 1-2 years to go in Queensland (so does my free holiday house bachelor pad!!)  
I often wonder if people in the real world, plan in small 2 year chunks like this.  A 5 year plan sounds a bit communist to me, or like we're ploughing fields, which we might very well be doing in the future too!!  As for the families of the fallen soldiers, my heart goes out to them.  I have already had several people ask if my husband is Ok, but those boys were someone else's sons, brothers, husbands & fathers.  It's a reality check & i will sigh great relief when i finally speak to my handsome soldier.  Love Posie

34 comments:

Sarah B said...

I thought about you when I heard the awful news this morning. I'm glad your husband is ok but so sad for those who aren't. Take care x

Amy said...

My heart goes out to you Jennie. I can only imagine how hard it would be for you guys to hear this news. Hope you get to talk to your handsome soldier soon.

Do you have a date for your surgery?

cheryl @ nefotlak. said...

I read the news on ABC online very late last night - and immediately you were in my thoughts. Heart in mouth all morning waiting to see if you'd post something today. It's a horrible thing for families to go through. My heart and thoughts are with you guys - hoping for a safe and fast return - and onto making those fantastic country dreams a reality. For me - planning only reaches as far as the next week currently - just wanting to get through this prac. After that we'll think about the next goal post to plan towards!! Hugz from here. C xox.

Sharyn said...

I have been waiting for a post to know everything was ok with you. My heart drops whenever I hear of tragedies with our soldiers. My Dad was a career naval officer so we spent many years of our childhood with him overseas. I think 2 year plans are very realistic. I don't think anyone can plan 5 years out these days - the world changes so quickly. Best wishes Sharyn

loulou said...

Hi Miss Posie

I thought of you straight away this morning and wanted to come directly to your blog to see if all was ok.
and there you are - blogging about it.
Well my prayers and sorrow goes to the loved ones of the fallen soldiers - a dreadful waste of life.

I'm more worried at the moment about your hands.
You need help straight away and that is not a way to live.
How is your dad by the way - I can imagine that is a stress and strain on you too.

you take care and I am really sending you some love... right now.... x

loulou, from hereiamloulou blog

x

The Moerks said...

Posie, it is just almost to unbearable to think of. I also take a deep breath every time I hear this sort of news. I think having a plan is good, essential really for two people in your situation.
One thing though, you say you haven
t returned to the workforce but I see your sewing and Handmade as your paid work. I often think I wish I could be like you and have my craft dream and be there for the kids. You are an inspiration.
Hugs to you and maybe your poor hands are giving you permission to chill for a little bit.

brismod said...

I think of you and all the other families who have their loved ones abroad serving in the armed forces. It is a sad reality and you guys sound like the most level-headed practical people imaginable. I hope the farm dream will come true soon. xx

Queen Of The Armchair aka Dzintra Stitcheries said...

Oh dear beautiful Jennie when I heard the news about the soldiers my heart skipped a beat for you...And your hands how hard that is for you...meanwhile, focus on your 2 year plan...sounds like a good one!!! Love Dzintra

Hazel said...

Like the others I thought immediately of you when I heard the news. Glad to hear your husband is ok, but like you say a tragedy for the families and loved ones who died or were injured. Plans? We had so many hiccups with our block and building the hut I stopped making plans, it hurt too much when we didn't even get close! Every time I'd get excited something else would pop up. It's done now, and we are just enjoying our life at our home. I'm not an ambitious person (neither is Rob) but I strive for stability, and we have simple goals for the near future, paving, fencing our garden and establishing the vegie patch and mini vineyard. The only big thing that could happen is actually a small thing, well to start off with, anyway. I can't wait to read as you find that farm and homestead.

Tania McCartney said...

My love. Thinking of you.

LionessLady said...

Thinking of your hands and your husband and sending hugs!

The Provincial Homemaker said...

We just heard the news on the radio this morning and I immediately thought of you.

I always think the blockout is the worst because you know something has happened you just don't know what. DH used to ring at roughly the same time most days and if I still hadn't heard from him by bedtime I would be beside myself. EVen though, in reality, the fact that I hadn't heard anything from another source was a good thing.

Head up, and take it a day at a time. And, I think your 2 year plan is eminently sensible - we planned an European holiday for the entire of DH's last deployment, in 10 minute lots:)

Kerry said...

You have your head screwed on right Ms Posie, even if the hands aren't cooperating at the moment. I think 5 year plans are completely overrated! So glad to hear that your man is safe xx

Sally said...

I just heard about the soldiers and I wanted to pop by and check that your handsome soldier wasn't one of them. Phew. You still have your 2 year plan. I am so relieved for you.
Hope the surgery comes quickly. Take care.

ally said...

I've been thinking of you since I heard the news - glad all is well with your handsome soldier.
I'm sure you must be in lots of pain - I really hope that gets sorted for you soon.
2 years is further ahead than I can plan but we are in a settling phase and so don't need to.
Hold on to those thoughts and dreams of your new house
xx

Hot Fudge said...

Like all your other commenters, I immediately thought of you this morning when I heard the news. I have a classmate with a son over there as well, so I'm hoping he's OK.

I admire your remarkable spirit, troubled as you are with crippling pain. Bring on the surgery and the wonderful two year plan.

Tanya said...

Thinking of you and your lovely family and am so glad your handsome soldier is safe. But very sad to know more lives have been lost :-(. Take good care of yourself and your poor hands, and bugger 5 year plans :-), 2 sounds great to me and more than we have :-), we seem to look towards reaching Lachie's next milestone mostly. And I agree with the lovely lady from The Moerks, you really are and have always been a working mum and I really admire you. xx

Frances said...

Hi Jenny, I also thought of you this morning when I heard the sad news. A terrible thing and we are thinking of their families. Good for you and your two year plan, a very healthy distraction I feel. I think that we may sometimes take our partners for granted when they are here all the time.......

Thanks for your sharing!

XXX FJMK

Teresa said...

I thought of you when hearing the news from Afghanistan. I hope you receive that call from your husband soon. xo

tinajo said...

I´m so sorry for those who lost someone. :-(

Take care!

Mookah said...

Been thinking of you.....glad all is okay in your world.

Jane said...

Oh Jennie. Once again I am struck by your extraordinary positivity and straight-headed approach. You are an inspiration. So sorry to hear about the CT - has surgery been booked yet? J x

Georgie said...

Your two year plan sounds wonderful and a wise idea... my husband worked long hours in Sydney, nothing like military work though, and having sjw on the horizon was a great distraction when things were tiring with our three very little girls. I hope your two year plan works out just as you hope... gxo

yardage girl said...

My first thought when I heard the news was you. I hoped it wasn't your boy, but I knew they were somebodies boys - terrible all round. Hang on to the plans. We do the same - 2 year "plan" that is often derailed by something from left field (eg moving the Spain!). We tend to just fly by the seat of our pants with the firm belief that everything will work out. Nic x

Ms Styling You said...

You're incredibly grounded - it must be the plan. We've got a two year plan and that's to move to Brisbane once my teens have finished high school and studying there. By that time, my husband will have commuted for six years.

polkadotpeticoat said...

You have such a strong marriage and this will be the key to all of your success.....your poor hands!
a friend had this surgery and it was such a success!!

Liz said...

My thoughts went to you as soon as I heard about the soldiers' deaths. Pleased all is OK. But sad for some family who did lose their loved one.
Technolgy is great these days.

supermac said...

You and your husband continue to inspire me. I am glad your husband is safe and sad for the other soldiers who got killed in the war ;-(

Leonie said...

Oh Jennie, I thought of you immediately when I heard that awful news. So glad your hubby is ok, but how terrible for those other families.
I hear ya on the planning in small stages. We have moved around so much I have learnt not to plan much in advance any more, but to hold onto my dreams for a more settled future.
You are an amazing woman and I really admire your strength of character.

Posie Patchwork said...

Thanks so much for your support everyone, love you, love Posie

emma @ frog, goose and bear said...

I thought of you straight away when I heard the news. So glad that all is well with your man. I used to plan 6 months at a time for quite a few years with my hubby's job as that's how often we moved around. We've been here for 3 years now and it's the longest my almost 8 year old has lived anywhere. I love it, but she can't wait to move again!
So sorry to hear about your hands! All the best with the op. - hope it does the trick and u are back on track in no time.

Kylie said...

Hugs honey - not the nicest of things to happen:( Hope that yours is staying safe.

Love the kiss and dont tell story with the roses:)

Ouch to the hands - if you need anything (not that I can do too much for you from here - you never know though) 5 weeks till packing boxes and will be down your way.

Kylie said...

Oh and two year plan - hearing you honey:)

Sarah said...

This must be such a horrible side of having a husband at war. I am glad he is safe.
I am so glad you have the 2 year plan.
I have a few plans all different time frames. Ranging from a year to 3 years-ish ahead.

Hoping your wrists and fixed up soon.