07 May 2011
i'm grateful for 'knowing my breaking point'
Oh boy, am i grateful for knowing my breaking point. Let me use this bed break as a metaphor for my week . . . snap. No, i didn't snap, i'm very patient & calm under pressure, but a child's bed snapped (the children all got new-expensive-to-last-to-adult-investment-beds & mattresses only 6 months ago, argh!!) I've had a few niggles of annoyance building so i've taken action & struck another job off my list-of-committments . . . the P&C . . . farewell volunteer work, meetings & fundraisers. I've always enjoyed the P&C, but it's time for a break.
Previous breaking points/ wake up calls have included . . . hitting a huge kangaroo at midnight between a must-attend-family-event in Sydney & a must-attend-Tournament of the Minds contest in Canberra the next morning; parking tickets; being burgled; & most recently . . . the neighbour's wall jumped out to clip & blow my tyre, so a creepy tyre repairman could announce in front of my children "you really f***ed the rim, i'll have to bash the s*** out of it to fix it, that's $400". When i lose focus, crap happens, expensive crap, often insured but still crappy!! I loathe being distracted, unfocused, over committed & rushed. This week we almost lost a fish as i forgot to clean the tank, not on my watch little fishy!!
This year i've reduced my work load by culling my on line website, closing my wholesale label Edna&AliceMay (i had products in 50 stores around the world, did you know, i didn't until i counted) & only scheduling 6 markets in 2011. Working at Shop Handmade makes me happy, especially with my husband away (read: adult contact) & doing big markets are a blast. I've been going to the gym & increasing my cooking skills - i want to spend more time doing these positive things, which benefit me & my family.
I don't have time to hunt down facts & figures for reports or begging volunteers to stand behind a school BBQ. I don't have the need to please & i do say "no", i find the work easy, but dealing with negativity for free?? If this bed didn't break, i think i would have banged my head against it - it's how i felt last weekend, a new term looming with unresolved P&C stress.
I need more time up my sleeve to put out 'fires'. I actually don't like being busy - there is a difference to being a high energy person who gets a lot done each day . . . i like to do things properly & enjoy them, not rushed or half hearted. I also believe there is a big difference between responsibility of committments (self imposed have to type things to keep a family running) & stress (beyond your control).
First 'fire' . . . this Charlie&theChocolateFactory grandparent style bed sharing situation . . . i'll undo the bed frame & march it into Harvey Norman to demand a new one. That's this weekend, i wonder what 'fire' i'll have to 'put out' next weekend?? Please not the washing machine, car, fridge, vacuum or dishwasher, they are my lifelines. But if there is something, i'm available.
I marched into Shop Handmade on Monday & declared my plans to reduce my committments, to find Rachel had made us curried egg & cucumber sandwiches for lunch, glee!! Then Julie invited me to Mother's Day dinner so i didn't have to make my own, joy!! True friends, they read your mind, they know when to deliver & help before you do.
So this weekend i will finish my P&C reports; tax; buy groceries; cook & bake; housework; yoga & pump; write letters; answer emails; press uniforms & sew market stock. This is an 8-day-weekend right?? I feel so much better when my life is up to date, under control & smooth, just saying outloud "i'm at breaking point" it's not failure, i think it's success: identify what needs to change. I don't like losing my sparkle, i'm sure i'm not alone in my desire to take control of my time & energy. More Gratefuls at Maxabella Loves. Love Posie
EDIT: Woke up feeling energised & stress free. This time next week handsome soldier will be here for a whole 9 day holiday (yahoo). Don't miss this IKEA giveaway either, drawn tomorrow, ah, Mother's Day!!