07 May 2011

i'm grateful for 'knowing my breaking point'

Greetings all,
Oh boy, am i grateful for knowing my breaking point.  Let me use this bed break as a metaphor for my week . . . snap.  No, i didn't snap, i'm very patient & calm under pressure, but a child's bed snapped (the children all got new-expensive-to-last-to-adult-investment-beds & mattresses only 6 months ago, argh!!)  I've had a few niggles of annoyance building so i've taken action & struck another job off my list-of-committments . . . the P&C . . . farewell volunteer work, meetings & fundraisers.  I've always enjoyed the P&C, but it's time for a break. 
Previous breaking points/ wake up calls have included . . . hitting a huge kangaroo at midnight between a must-attend-family-event in Sydney & a must-attend-Tournament of the Minds contest in Canberra the next morning; parking tickets; being burgled; & most recently . . . the neighbour's wall jumped out to clip & blow my tyre, so a creepy tyre repairman could announce in front of my children "you really f***ed the rim, i'll have to bash the s*** out of it to fix it, that's $400".  When i lose focus, crap happens, expensive crap, often insured but still crappy!!  I loathe being distracted, unfocused, over committed & rushed.  This week we almost lost a fish as i forgot to clean the tank, not on my watch little fishy!!
This year i've reduced my work load by culling my on line website, closing my wholesale label Edna&AliceMay (i had products in 50 stores around the world, did you know, i didn't until i counted) & only scheduling 6 markets in 2011. Working at Shop Handmade makes me happy, especially with my husband away (read: adult contact) & doing big markets are a blast. I've been going to the gym & increasing my cooking skills - i want to spend more time doing these positive things, which benefit me & my family.
 I don't have time to hunt down facts & figures for reports or begging volunteers to stand behind a school BBQ.  I don't have the need to please & i do say "no", i find the work easy, but dealing with negativity for free??  If this bed didn't break, i think i would have banged my head against it - it's how i felt last weekend, a new term looming with unresolved P&C stress. 
 I need more time up my sleeve to put out 'fires'.  I actually don't like being busy - there is a difference to being a high energy person who gets a lot done each day . . . i like to do things properly & enjoy them, not rushed or half hearted.  I also believe there is a big difference between responsibility of committments (self imposed have to type things to keep a family running) & stress (beyond your control).
First 'fire' . . . this Charlie&theChocolateFactory grandparent style bed sharing situation . . . i'll undo the bed frame & march it into Harvey Norman to demand a new one.  That's this weekend, i wonder what 'fire' i'll have to 'put out' next weekend??  Please not the washing machine, car, fridge, vacuum or dishwasher, they are my lifelines.  But if there is something, i'm available.
I marched into Shop Handmade on Monday & declared my plans to reduce my committments, to find Rachel had made us curried egg & cucumber sandwiches for lunch, glee!!  Then Julie invited me to Mother's Day dinner so i didn't have to make my own, joy!!  True friends, they read your mind, they know when to deliver & help before you do. 
So this weekend i will finish my P&C reports; tax; buy groceries; cook & bake; housework; yoga & pump; write letters; answer emails; press uniforms & sew market stock.  This is an 8-day-weekend right??  I feel so much better when my life is up to date, under control & smooth, just saying outloud "i'm at breaking point" it's not failure, i think it's success: identify what needs to change I don't like losing my sparkle, i'm sure i'm not alone in my desire to take control of my time & energy.  More Gratefuls at Maxabella Loves.  Love Posie
EDIT: Woke up feeling energised & stress free.  This time next week handsome soldier will be here for a whole 9 day holiday (yahoo).  Don't miss this IKEA giveaway either, drawn tomorrow, ah, Mother's Day!!

29 comments:

Sindy said...

Oh dear! I agree knowing your breaking point is important, but when a bed breaks it is really annoying. Especially after your success fixing the slats on the other bed! MDF is the scourge of the devil in my opinion and should not be allowed to be used on any furniture.

Wendy said...

Whew. I am exhausted just reading about your busy-ness, Miss Posie. Good for you for cutting back and keeping all of that positive stuff happening!

Thea said...

Good for you for reducing your workload! I'm pleased for you. Doesn't saying no feel empowering? It's so necessary for self-preservation at times. x

circle retreat quilter said...

OMG I thought I was on overload. Breathe Posie..............in and out and relax and enjoy mothers day. I hope your munchkins make you tea n toast and you have time for a chick flick on the couch tomorrow. x

Kylie said...

Oh honey, I have no idea how you do it. I have myself rather stressed about DH leaving tomorrow. Yay for friends. We are crashing a family event at a friends as well:)
The PandC have been lucky to have you. I am certain that you will still be there in the background. We had our first fair meeting yesterday. The prep parents are in charge of the pantry. Think jams, relish, salsas that is what we get landed first year at school. NICE!!! 1000 jars ahhhh
I am not taking on the convenour as I won't be here to pass it on next year but will hold a jam cook up at home with a glass of wine:)

TammyJ said...

Love you post Posie, I admire what you can do with such a great attitude and find it inspiring :) Thanks. Good luck at HN too.

littlebetty said...

Breathe. Have a cup of tea. Good on you for freeing up some time. First and foremost, you are a mum. I find it's important to remind myself of that sometimes. Happy Mothers day for tomorrow!

Felicity said...

Written in big white letters in the sky above your house - look out the window now, can you see it?

Y.O.U A.R.E. M.Y I.N.S.P.I.R.A.T.I.O.N !!!

OK, it was a bit of test for the pilot and they may have merged into a blob of puffy white clouds by now, but I hope you get my drift.

xx to you!

Jane said...

Wow that is certainly enough to be going on with. And why are tyre repair men always kind of creepy.

Get a refund \ replacement from HN. Don't let them say they are not obliged, they are.

xo

flourish and blume said...

While writing this you were actually busy doing something else... giving great advice! Thanks for that.

Queen Of The Armchair aka Dzintra Stitcheries said...

Oh no Jennie...good on you for cutting back, I know how it feels when life dishes out all this stuff!!!...Please take care sweetie...How about a trip to the beach sometime...love and hugs...and a Happy Mothers Day lunch tomorrow...Thinking of you heaps...Dzintra

Knicky Knacks said...

Without knowing it sometimes, we fill up our lives with 'stuff' and 'distraction' and then wonder why we are so strung out, unfocussed and stressed. Being mums, we tend to self impose this bottom of the totem pole approach, putting everyone else's priorities ahead of our own. It's so wonderful to hear you've culled back. We all need to do that from time to time. It's like a spring clean for the soul don't you think? Also great to read that you are giving yourself time to do yoga and exercise. Reading a book at the moment by Andrew May called 'Flick the Switch'. I think he typifies most mums with two phrases - 'Road Runner Syndrome' - refering to hurrying sense of urgency we impose in our lives and the "When I" Syndrome - for those who say things like "When I finish the house cleaning, then I'll start to relax" or "I can't slow down right now, I need to keep going until everything is in order" or "When the kids leave home, I'll start to make time for myself". If you can get your hands on the book, its worth the read. Hope you have a long, restful and engergised weekend. Happy Mother's Day!

Bron66 said...

Wow! I don't know how you do it. I feel guilty for saying no to things like kinder and school committees but I know from past experience that I am really bad at it and it stresses me out. It feels selfish but I know my limits now. So important to have some slow time. I think quantity time is just as important as quality time!

BeachVintage.com said...

Take a deep breath honey....S*&% happens!

Kate said...

Oh no that is a bad week - hope this next week is completely different. We really are like Charlie and the Chcolate Factory here - the teins have single beds pushed together and Evie insists on sleeping with them - so all 3 sleep snuggled up every night and none will sleep by themsleves.

Miss Prudence said...

Well done Jennie. Even super powers have limits : )

XXMiss Prudence

Tammi said...

And I thought my life was busy :) I admire how you keep it all together Jen, you are a great inspiration to all of us.
Enjoy your weekend and have a wonderful Mother's Day
xx

Jennie said...

Good for you - saying "no". It is so hard. You are such a strong person, you know when to say it and let go of certain things. That P & C sounds like alot of stress!XX

Sarah said...

You're pretty darn amazing you know that Miss Posie? I know how lucky the P&C must have been to have you. But focusing on the positive is absolutely the right thing to do. x

Lauren said...

I'm glad you know how to say no! :) good on you for stepping off the P&C...I hope you get to do all that you want to this weekend...while still having some time to chill! x

Naturally Carol said...

I hope my email to you didn't stress you out even more..I didn't intend it to! I regularly have to revise my commitments and even weekly just stay at home and have time to refresh and recuperate if I am overloading..of course the basics are always there to be done. I honour you for knowing when enough is enough..and doing something about it before burn out occurs.

Tracy aka Mad Quilter said...

Wow that is one huge list of commitments! I'm all for keeping things to a minimum these days. I can't do things like I want to, when I'm spread too thin. I learned the hard way that my mental health is really important.

Cate said...

You are such a busy bee my friend - I'm so glad you are able to see when you getting too stressed...not good :-)
hope you have a lovely weekend - glad you are feeling more energised!
xxxCate

quilary said...

I stopped my commitment to Netball (I'd been involved, including running the association for over 15yr, by choice and loved it) last week. This morning was the first game I went to watch my own child without having to worry about the timing, the umpires or who was going to complain about what (as you say getting negativity and aggro for free!!!).
It's good to recognise where our limits are so we can do our best with what we need to do. Hope you got your new bed too!

deux chiens et un garcon said...

I love who you are.
xo jill

Mama of 2 boys said...

Posie, with all the things you do, I'm surprised you didn't reach your breaking point alot sooner! Hubby & kids, craft, work, blogging... they are all massive commitments... let other people pick up the slack with the rest for a change :o)
I love that pic of your little ladies in their new bed! It looks like so much fun... I want one for me! :o)
Happy Mother's Day, enjoy! xo

notquitecrafty said...

Well done on working out your breaking point & doing something about it!

I pulled out of p&c stuff last year for the same reason - I don't need to be treated like a child when I am volunteering!

Kelli

Miss Muggins said...

I am so excited to have won. It is something I really need and love to boot. Fancy being picked by a handsome soldier! woo hoo - made my day!

AllIsClear said...

Great post Posie, it's really valuable to be able to recognise your breaking point and make changes... so good on you. It is far better to do a less things better than lots of things badly!