i'm grateful for . . . 'feeling the love'

Greetings all,

This week i'm so grateful for the love i'm feeling from family, friends, bloggers & . . . sales assistants.  How sweet is this little stamped heart on my Chrismtas ornament parceled up with love??  I was in Kikki-K purchasing a gift for a friend & said to the sweeet girl behind the counter "oh, & the white love heart Christmas decoration please as i love me too." 

I grew up with a ridiculous amount of love, time, compliments & attention from my parents, i used to feel awkward when girls would say about other girls "oh she loves herself" when i thought, i love me too, why is that bad??  Of course they meant 'that girl is a stuck up selfish cow' not generous of heart & oozing love!!  My end result has been a self assured & confident female, able to accept, embrace & return lashings of love.

 I would never term myself as a needy person, my husband is, just ask me when he gets 'man flu' & right now he is homesick.  I'm sending lots of love, attention & parcels his way, i have plenty to give.  It's just that when he comes home in June next year, he still has 6-18months in Brisbane, totally 3-4years living interstate (it was meant to be 2 years).  This is his 5th deployment & i'd hate to tally the total number of years he has spent away (courses, exercises & training).  I support him, imagine how it is for the guys whose wives & gilfriends have had enough, but the boys still want to be soldiers??  

 I collect hearts, not as some blazen heart breaker, hearts like this . . .

 they make me smile & after watching 6 romantic comedies this week, boy am i lucky to have found romantic love & stayed in love!!  My husband & i have a very uncomplicated relationship, i don't play games & there is an enormous amount of respect.  He is none of the RomCom cliches - the moment he met me, he wanted love, committment, marriage & babies, no arguments there!!  I was so young but it was so right, he knew he wanted to join the regular Army too, he can love us both, thanks to my attitude.

 I cry in movies, um, i cry in animal documentaries & long distance telephone ads, it gives me a break from being strong, determined & tenacious.  I can't watch The Notebook, way too close to my Mummy's Alzheimer's.  After 56 years of marriage (i came along after the 20th wedding anniversary) they still hold hands & walk to the letter box together.  My father was career navy, over 30 years at sea & went to war too, i know what they think when they are out there in danger, it's all about home & love.     

I have read & re-read a letter from an eloquent friend, who suggested that after a tumultuous year, her 'to do list' of gifts & commitments at this time of year was so long, she is sending out love: true friends will gracefully understand & she's being gentle on herself.  She is a giver & i applaud her focus on energy, where it is best spent.  I have 4 children & a husband at war + hands which can barely lift, so why exactly am i hammering myself about Christmas gifts for my enormous family??  I'm rethinking the gift list (we live interstate, no events, just gifts in the mail) the post man is handing over the gift, not me - with my smile, the message is lost??  I am going to do things differently forever more, i don't need the Brownie points for giving the best or most gifts in my family, i'd rather do something of substance with love!!  Love Posie