new mum school tips from a professional school gate mum

Greetings all,
Welcome to February & commencing/ resuming the school year.

 Before you know it, those gorgeous little babies you raise . . . head off to preschool & school & high school!!

my baby boy is in year 2, that's upstairs in the senior block

Forgive the presumptuous title of this post, but . . . I’m playing new mum this year too, at high school.  It will be the 9th school (including 5 different preschools in 3 different states & territories) for our children.  I have questions too . . . do high school mums go to the gate or is that just unnecessary & embarrassing??  I’m open to advice.

For those of you in my experienced field, primary school, here are some tips for school gate which might be useful.  Starting with the first day . . .
Be confident & positive, it will keep your child calm & interested in their first big day at school, even if YOU have to fake it & you’re actually a trembling mess.  My 4 all had 2-2.5years each of preschool, so the idea of a backpack, a ‘classroom’, a lunch box & me leaving them for 4-6 hours was normal.  I was enthusiastic but not over the top, each child took on their first day of primary school quite differently.  When our first daughter (& i) started kindergarten (NSW), she was horrified they didn’t get maths text books & learn how to read on the first day – her expectations were high. Day 2, she asked if I could just ‘drop her off in the street’ & day 3, could she catch a bus??!!  She was out there on her own starting from scratch & she loved it!!

When my twins started Transition (NT) they had each other, one extremely excited about the new adventure, her twin a little quiet, but she had her best friend by her side.  The following year in a new school, day one our quiet one couldn't find anyone (including her sister) to play with at recess, a teacher introduced her to new girl Emily & they have been best friends ever since.

My son had the huge advantage of starting primary school (ACT) with half his PreSchool class. After all those years & schools picking up his sisters, he was desperate to have his own school uniform, bag, class & journey.  He announced later that day he was going to marry his teacher - ONE DAY it took him to realise he could grow up & marry someone other than me (creepy but sweet mother-son concept)!! 

Some tips for the rest of the year . . .

School mummies are the greatest, they have local children the same ages & stages as yours!!  Some will be competitive, miserable, hilarious & fun - just like every other school, job, group or family you're associated with - there are some you will love & some you'll want to avoid.  Without being clicky or exclusive, if you hang around the school gate, you might notice you form a 'group'.  Don't be afraid to introduce yourself & join in.

Your school's P&C might be happy go lucky or extremely political, be prepared for anything, but perhaps not sign yourself up as president until you've sussed out the committment & vibe first.

Have an interesting blurb ready about who you are, it might be so much more than you standing in the playground with other children hanging off you & having "just a mum" stamped on your forehead.  Think up a fun, whitty, subtle description of who are you without making it sound like a CV.   

 Volunteer on fundraisers, craft classes, canteen & changing readers etc, they are all ice breakers & your children love knowing you're 'at school' too.  Don't go too hard too soon or you might find yourself making all the costumes for the school play & running fundraisers solo!!

Try to set an easy-friend-making example to your children & introduce yourself to a few parents. This is not some full on power networking alpha mum thing (however, you'll see those mums), but a nice way to learn some names to say hello to.

Be on time, you will be judged & arriving late will only have you flustered & your child rushed.

Avoid the negative parents, they'll sign you up for petitions & letter writing a hate-fest about the school.  Even if you have your own issues, sort it out directly & quickly.  You'll realise the negative ones do have the option of changing schools but NO school will EVER be good enough for their precious child & never see that their child is the common denominator.  
Be prepared that some children will have allergies with hesitant & careful mothers.  Be open & ask lots of questions & don't panic (it's not you) if the mother says yes to a play date but hangs around to ensure their child is safe.

Get to know your teachers, if there are any issues from their running out pencils & bullying to notes not being signed & acadmic progress, it's SO much easier for everyone if the teachers know who you are & can chat to you easily before things get complicated.
The party dilemma - do you invite a few close friends or the entire class??  Do you invite someone to your party just because they invited you to theirs??  Early on i just invited the whole class to home parties, we have used small schools which also helps this issue.

If you only have one child at school & a mum you know offers to car pool, this might be brilliant, especially if you have younger ones who still nap.  I had this situation when i had one in preschool & 3 little ones at home, a fellow mummy of 4 helped me out!!

If your school allows it, let your children play after school to get all their school-ness out of their system.  We have a 25km drive home so i let my guys run around & play with friends.  Things will change this year as we have high school finishing at 3.30p.m. for a pick up across town.

I could write a million things but my little routine consists of . . . packing school bags (homework, show&tell, hats) & laying out uniforms the night before; children eating breakfast while i make their lunches; i tidy up the house before we leave so i return to an orderly home (it's self respect) then we all hop in the car with a 15 minute traffic buffer & chat all the way to school, together.  It's just me & the children so i keep things calm, routine & stream lined.  Doing 3 girls long hair every day can have serious unforeseen challenges, hair elastics disappear in houses like pens. 

Most of all, enjoy with big kisses, cuddles & i-love-yous at the beginning & end of their school days, love Posie